Inverted Crescent

One Woman's Journey Over the Moon and Beyond

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

the latest simple meme/craze

Borrowed from the Simple Woman’s Daybook:

Outside my window…
Raindrops and twilight

I am thinking…
about going to bed early

I am thankful for…
A sweet puppy dog at my feet

From the kitchen…
salmon patties and squash fritters

I am wearing…
a polka dot skirt and a blue cardigan

I am creating…
A new blog post!

I am going…
To take a real vacation up the east coast this fall.

I am reading…
Three Cups of Tea

I am praying...
to be closer to God

I am hearing…
The raindrops outside, the ceiling fan on it's endless rotation, and the breathing of my cat.

Around the house…
It is quiet. The house smells of newly cooked dinner.

One of my favorite things…
is a well crafted science fiction movie

A few plans for the rest of the week…
work, work, work-------miracle grow for the garden on saturday---iron my clean clothes on saturday, and set aside a little time to actually journal.

navel gazing in one end and out another

It's a wonderfully rainy evening and I have survived a workshop, eaten deliciously fried squash fritters, and am currently imbibing a glass of red wine.

Life is good.

My garden is looking strange as the early tomato plants are fading, and the new basil and tomatoes are nowhere near grown-up enough to look productive. Give them time and they'll be fine though. I know it.

Somewhere within the almost year that I've been married, my fat kitty has gotten quite used to my husband's dog and I am suprised and happy simultaneously about this new and equitable arrangement at which they have arrived. The peace between them in the house is remarkable.

Now, if only I could get my lazy butt up enough to exercise I think I would be "getting somewhere." (:

My grief over my mother's death is becoming manageable. Each day is a bit better, and I do not find myself sulking over all the things that I cannot have with her.
I focus instead on what is ahead, and where I am.

Life is about the present moment. The older I get, the more certain of that I am.

If my present self could write a letter to my past self, it would say "go visit her more". Definitely.

I lament that I will never asked her how she makes her famous banana pudding, or bothered to learn exactly how the christmas chicken and dressing was made. Things that I would have gotten around to, if there was more time spent with her.
These food staples of every christmas I have ever had are lost to me.
However------the important thing about my christmas celebration will be bringing the family together.

Through her death, I have become my small family's matriarch. I find it exceedingly strange that a woman who does not want children ends up being the one who tries to maintain these family bonds.

What's next?

Work things mainly.
I've developed a wonderful focus for work that I haven't had before.
My opinion is saught out, and I am looked to as a mentor.
I have greater clarity about the purpose of my teaching, and about where it will take me and my students.

I wish I could really blog about my work; but for all the reasons any self-aware blogger is cogniscent of, I shouldn't.

What can I say? That my students are awesome---that they are becoming very aware of their place in the universe and their role in it, and that, if I do my job well---this will be a much better place to live for many` many reasons.

Monday, July 13, 2009

hodge podge

It's a long, hot summer, and I've been jumping with my students.

I've injured every almost every part of my body below the knee due to lots of outdoor time---------and the illusion that I can still take on a team of 9 year olds in a relay race.

Silly me.

However, it was still time well spent.
I shall miss them, now that summer school is officially over, and it's time to take a brief rest and get ready for real back-to-school.

On the upside, I have been reading a wonderful book by Barbara Kingsolver called "The Prodigal Summer".

Beautiful story. It's full of sex, ghosts, legacy and nature. I couldn't have picked a better summer read.

Next on the list is "Three Cups of Tea". It is getting positive reviews, so I'm looking forward to it.

Having been a difficult summer, with the death of my mother and the assumption of a few new work responsibilities, I have looked for positive things to cling to that will give me reasons to be happy.

I find my mind too often strays to thoughts of her death, and even to what my own death will be like as well.
It is a trait of my family-------that when they realize their bodies are slowing down, they focus entirely too much on their end, instead of where they currently ARE.

Perhaps that is only a characteristic of these "planners". My family is filled with planners. They are always looking toward the next thing-------and death is a very big and final next thing. They don't know what comes beyond that----so they get stuck on death.

I don't want to be that way. So, what do I do to live more fully now?

Read a book, love my husband, throw myself into my work, join a gym to make my body
stronger, goal to walk a marathon, blog or write more regularly, and pray. I've gotten so far away from my spiritual life.

When everything is working out well, I still feel an absence------and often it is because God and I aren't talking like we used to.

Of course, this experience with dealing with mom's final affairs has made me very aware that I need to set my own affairs in order. I am young---in the full summer of my life----but I should have all of my papers set up so that my husband is well taken care of should anything happen to me.

Plan, yes. But don't live as if the plan were the only thing.

Love my family. Live in the now.

This is what I need.

If you read this, ( and I doubt that anyone does anymore since it's been ages since I posted regularly), pray for me.

Much love to the universe.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

A very Merry 4th indeed

Today is the 4th of July and I am going to celebrate in my usual style----------by doing as little as possible.

I'm staying in, reading a wonderful book, and have plans to go to the hot air balloon/fireworks festival in Canton, MS.

I'm so excited about attending....I've wanted to do this since I first moved to Mississippi, so this should be fun.

There will be bar-b-que, music, and hotter-than-hell weather amidst hot air balloons. Should be a good time.

Happy 4th to you all!