Inverted Crescent

It took 1.5 villages

2009-10-07T09:23:00.001-07:00

Hello cave aficionados!
Since I was sixteen I have kept some form of journal. In these journals are many truths and self deceptions. Added to the journals are several letters that I have received over the years from loved ones. There are letters of encouragement during exam time, support during recovery from broken hearts, letters that showed me that I wasn’t as awful and terrible as I thought I was, and letters that simply relay the events of life.
I love having these because I can finally look back on all of this and have some real since of who I am and how I got to be there…of the huge debt I owe to so many people who made a good-faith effort to love me when I was unloveable, to be there for me despite the bad choices I may have been making, and to celebrate with me when things went well. I was blessed. Deeply and irrepressibly blessed and all I can say for it is “thank you” to the universe, to God, to the beautiful and deeply flawed individuals who were there for me. Thank you to my family, to my friends, to the patient and impatient who let me go through my growing pains, and who still do.
Things I have learned from these mementos:
1. I am loved.
2. My mom was awesome in all the ways she tried to mother me, without smothering me.
3. My Dad really did want the best for me.
4. That I wanted love so much in my youth that I put up with some pretty unacceptable behavior from others and from myself.
5. That I don’t always challenge myself to be my best.
6. That my church group, my summer camp friends, friends from school, work and life in general have all done large and small things to keep me in line.
7. They actually liked me, for me. It took a long time for me to accept that I might be likeable.
8. That regardless what others do think of me, I am still God’s creature, undeserving of his Grace and yet have it accessible. What a miracle is that!

Only to be with you

2009-09-23T12:19:00.002-07:00

I’m not certain what it is that I’m looking for.
Perhaps to be better, or smarter, or wiser than I’ve been in the past. Perhaps to have a new pretty thing, or to get rid of old stuffy things, or simply to be in a different space than I am now.
Restless. That’s me.
At every phase of my life I’ve experienced some sort of restlessness. I’m not certain what it is I think I’m trying to get to------but there is an underlying urge to get to that place that is real and ever present.
In my youth, I wanted a degree. When I got a degree, I wanted to end up in the perfect job. When I got the perfect job, I wanted the perfect man. Now that I am happily married, what is it I’m looking for?
Part of it is a relationship with God. I know that much. The empty holes in my heart that I’ve tried to fill all of these years are God-shaped holes, and not people shaped ones.
Part of it is a greater sense of community and fulfillment. I’ve been blessed with so much, how do I use it in a way that is pleasing to the big G? And perhaps more importantly, how do I get to that place where feeling that connection, and WANTING to give more than I take is “natural”?
*sigh* I’m so selfish. I don’t want to reach out too much to strangers for fear of what it will cost me. I don’t want to give up too much of my time because of how easily tired I get. I get angry and frustrated when people do not act the way that I want them to, and I am so quick to judge others for things done and left undone.
I don’t want to stay this way, and hope to come to a place where it is normal and natural for me to be my best self---and to turn to God for help when I’m not feeling naturally loving, forgiving, or patient.

St. Francis' Prayer

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life

are you out there?

2009-08-02T10:11:00.003-07:00

I've been reading "The Shack" lately and though I'm not impressed with the writing style, I am intrigued by the topics brought up in the book.

If anyone reads this blog---I have a serious question for you...

How is it you know that you are encountering God in your life?

That used to be something I was very clear on in my life----but it has gotten a little fuzzier of late.

I think, on the whole, I'm an okay human being----but I'm hardly a person living in a real relationship with God anymore---and I miss it.

Any insights/advice out there from those of you who have felt like you were going through a spiritual dry spell>

the latest simple meme/craze

2009-07-21T17:16:00.003-07:00

Borrowed from the Simple Woman’s Daybook:

Outside my window…
Raindrops and twilight

I am thinking…
about going to bed early

I am thankful for…
A sweet puppy dog at my feet

From the kitchen…
salmon patties and squash fritters

I am wearing…
a polka dot skirt and a blue cardigan

I am creating…
A new blog post!

I am going…
To take a real vacation up the east coast this fall.

I am reading…
Three Cups of Tea

I am praying...
to be closer to God

I am hearing…
The raindrops outside, the ceiling fan on it's endless rotation, and the breathing of my cat.

Around the house…
It is quiet. The house smells of newly cooked dinner.

One of my favorite things…
is a well crafted science fiction movie

A few plans for the rest of the week…
work, work, work-------miracle grow for the garden on saturday---iron my clean clothes on saturday, and set aside a little time to actually journal.

navel gazing in one end and out another

2009-07-21T16:47:00.005-07:00

It's a wonderfully rainy evening and I have survived a workshop, eaten deliciously fried squash fritters, and am currently imbibing a glass of red wine.

Life is good.

My garden is looking strange as the early tomato plants are fading, and the new basil and tomatoes are nowhere near grown-up enough to look productive. Give them time and they'll be fine though. I know it.

Somewhere within the almost year that I've been married, my fat kitty has gotten quite used to my husband's dog and I am suprised and happy simultaneously about this new and equitable arrangement at which they have arrived. The peace between them in the house is remarkable.

Now, if only I could get my lazy butt up enough to exercise I think I would be "getting somewhere." (:

My grief over my mother's death is becoming manageable. Each day is a bit better, and I do not find myself sulking over all the things that I cannot have with her.
I focus instead on what is ahead, and where I am.

Life is about the present moment. The older I get, the more certain of that I am.

If my present self could write a letter to my past self, it would say "go visit her more". Definitely.

I lament that I will never asked her how she makes her famous banana pudding, or bothered to learn exactly how the christmas chicken and dressing was made. Things that I would have gotten around to, if there was more time spent with her.
These food staples of every christmas I have ever had are lost to me.
However------the important thing about my christmas celebration will be bringing the family together.

Through her death, I have become my small family's matriarch. I find it exceedingly strange that a woman who does not want children ends up being the one who tries to maintain these family bonds.

What's next?

Work things mainly.
I've developed a wonderful focus for work that I haven't had before.
My opinion is saught out, and I am looked to as a mentor.
I have greater clarity about the purpose of my teaching, and about where it will take me and my students.

I wish I could really blog about my work; but for all the reasons any self-aware blogger is cogniscent of, I shouldn't.

What can I say? That my students are awesome---that they are becoming very aware of their place in the universe and their role in it, and that, if I do my job well---this will be a much better place to live for many` many reasons.

hodge podge

2009-07-13T07:51:00.001-07:00

It's a long, hot summer, and I've been jumping with my students.
Phew!

I've injured every almost every part of my body below the knee due to lots of outdoor time---------and the illusion that I can still take on a team of 9 year olds in a relay race.

Silly me.

However, it was still time well spent.
I shall miss them, now that summer school is officially over, and it's time to take a brief rest and get ready for real back-to-school.

On the upside, I have been reading a wonderful book by Barbara Kingsolver called "The Prodigal Summer".

Beautiful story. It's full of sex, ghosts, legacy and nature. I couldn't have picked a better summer read.

Next on the list is "Three Cups of Tea". It is getting positive reviews, so I'm looking forward to it.

Having been a difficult summer, with the death of my mother and the assumption of a few new work responsibilities, I have looked for positive things to cling to that will give me reasons to be happy.

I find my mind too often strays to thoughts of her death, and even to what my own death will be like as well.
It is a trait of my family-------that when they realize their bodies are slowing down, they focus entirely too much on their end, instead of where they currently ARE.

Perhaps that is only a characteristic of these "planners". My family is filled with planners. They are always looking toward the next thing-------and death is a very big and final next thing. They don't know what comes beyond that----so they get stuck on death.

I don't want to be that way. So, what do I do to live more fully now?

Read a book, love my husband, throw myself into my work, join a gym to make my body
stronger, goal to walk a marathon, blog or write more regularly, and pray. I've gotten so far away from my spiritual life.

When everything is working out well, I still feel an absence------and often it is because God and I aren't talking like we used to.

Of course, this experience with dealing with mom's final affairs has made me very aware that I need to set my own affairs in order. I am young---in the full summer of my life----but I should have all of my papers set up so that my husband is well taken care of should anything happen to me.

Plan, yes. But don't live as if the plan were the only thing.

Love my family. Live in the now.

This is what I need.

If you read this, ( and I doubt that anyone does anymore since it's been ages since I posted regularly), pray for me.

Much love to the universe.

A very Merry 4th indeed

2009-07-04T06:57:00.002-07:00

Today is the 4th of July and I am going to celebrate in my usual style----------by doing as little as possible.

I'm staying in, reading a wonderful book, and have plans to go to the hot air balloon/fireworks festival in Canton, MS.

I'm so excited about attending....I've wanted to do this since I first moved to Mississippi, so this should be fun.

There will be bar-b-que, music, and hotter-than-hell weather amidst hot air balloons. Should be a good time.

Happy 4th to you all!

Memoriam, May 2009

2009-06-29T12:45:00.003-07:00

Her hands were small, but perfectly formed.
They were always busy--------cleaning something, cooking something, loving or petting on someone. I do not remember a time when they weren't busy.

Her nails were burgundy red. Always.
Since age 16 she wore a shade of burgundy----and it suited her, with her pale, pale skin and her mink black hair. She was her own version of Snow White.

If I grew too restless in church, or was winding down for the night, she would put my head in her lap and stroke my hair. I would become peaceful then. I would know that I was loved when those small motherly hands were in my hair, combing it, putting it up in ponytails or dog-ears.

When she died, I placed my head in her lap one more time and put her hand on my head. I didn't know how else to say goodbye. It would be the last chance I had to know her this way. One last loving touch.

When I went to the funeral director I brought her best shade of burgundy and asked them to paint her nails a fresh shade. I insisted that her toes be done too. Mom was nothing if not particular. She would have liked to look her best.

Thank you Mom for everything.
I will try to be the person you raised me to be.
I will try to do as you have taught me.
Much love to you in heaven-------love on Dad, say hello to "prissy", because all dogs do go to heaven, and say hello to my baby brother.
I look forward to meeting him one day.

Many blessings to you in this new phase of life-------and hope that your nails there are as pretty as they were here.

Much love,

Your daughter

lessons

2008-11-23T08:13:00.005-08:00

When Gandhi was approached by a parent who was looking for advice on how to get her child to eat less sugar, he paused, thought... then recommended that the parent come back with the child at a later date so he could speak to him. (Depending on which version of the story you want to go with, it was anywhere from a week to a month before Gandhi saw the family again.) When the family next met with the Mahatma, he spoke gently with the child and told him to not eat too much sugar, since it was bad for him. When the mother later asked why he didn't share this with the child earlier, Gandhi simply replied that "A month ago, I too ate too much sugar."

I've been thinking about this story a bit lately and a few things occur to me...

1. The child already respected Gandhi because of how he lived his life before they had met, or he wouldn't have listened to his advice about sugar in the first place.

2. For Gandhi to relate to this child's particular struggle, he had to acknowledge that he also struggled.

3. For his advice to have any meaning, it was important for Gandhi to be able to live his advice.

What is the advice that I need to be living?

Eat locally, reduce my purchasing consumption,
and live as deliberately and greenly as possible.

"Why is his version of the truth better than mine?"

2008-09-25T06:56:00.000-07:00

Whilst feeding my “Dr. Who” obsession this weekend, watching The Satan Pit, I was struck by the poignancy of one of the Doctor’s comments about truth.

Faced with the terror of an impossibly old beast that has appropriated the mental faculties and voices of the Ood, a charming and under-valued species, our heroes buy into the “truth” spoken by the beast. He undermines their strength by speaking of their insecurities or focusing on their failings and foretelling gruesome futures and impending doom. The group, for a moment, loses heart. Between the frightening surroundings, the terrifying oddness of the events around them, and their own human failings, they give into their inner mental darkness and begin to panic.

At this point, the doctor steps up, and briefly re-writes the mental script the beast has given them by challenging the crew with his own perspective.
“Why is his version of the truth any better than mine?” He proceeds to list the ways that humans are brilliant, with a certain stalwart enthusiasm and cleverness that is to be commended. He helps them to refocus on what they can do, instead of what they can’t.

The beast recognizes the power of the doctor’s words and terminates communication between the doctor and the crew. Nicely, Rose not only picks up the slack, but generals on---organizing the troops to take on the beast. Though frightened herself, Rose is not one to wallow. She trusts the doctor—sees the wisdom of his words—and goes forward.

Our heroes save the day, the beast is defeated through cleverness and clear thinking, and all is well. Hooray!

What I take away from this marvelously scary episode is the simple idea that it is important to think positively—to focus on the good and the real—and to do what I can to make things better for the folks around me. I’ve been having a hard time with that lately, and I’m not sure why.
In theory “the economy has never been worse”, the housing market is dire, our country is at war, etc, etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseum. Beasts are everywhere, telling us how to think, constantly taking our emotional temperature as if it were news, whipping us into a frenzy of fear, complaint and entitlement, playing into our insecurities, and making us defensive. What we need, what I need isn’t to focus on how lousy the housing market is, or how close to recession our economy is, but to think about where I actually am at this phase of my life, focus on the good that is before me---and try to pass that around to those around me.
In short, my version of the truth is just as powerful as anyone else’s.
Yes, the housing market could be better. But I am tentatively hopeful that the government bailout will be a step in a positive direction.
Yes, my bike was stolen. But I still have a vehicle and no trouble walking, so getting places isn’t too bit a deal. (My neighbor has even offered to loan me his bike until I can get one of my own. And that little bit of charity takes away my bitterness against the one who stole my beautiful bike.)
The economy is “struggling”.
But I have a job, a roof over my head and food on my table.
Although I have had struggles with health in the past, things are getting better there. My breathing is more regular---and that makes me very happy. The bizarre numbness on the left side of my body that persisted for several months has gone away. The doctors could never diagnose the cause, and I choose to believe that the restoration of feeling to my left side is a miracle.
I have love. Real persistent love that greets me every morning and is with me throughout the day. I cannot tell you what that does for me.

Finding my mental abundant place and living there for a while may be the best thing that I can do for myself and for others.
In many ways I have withheld myself from the fullness of community life; for fear that it would dominate me. I want good, healthy boundaries. I think those are necessary. But I have held onto that so much that I haven’t gotten out much at all. And it is time to change that. It’s time to re-write that mental script, and start acting it out. It’s time to be my own Doctor. What about you?

craft, craft, craft

2008-09-16T19:18:00.002-07:00

I hear you. What's cavewoman been up to?
Crafting!
Making a dress, embroidering a ring-bearer's pillow, sewing table toppers, experimenting with gingerbread recipes. See a trend?
Yep, I'm crafting for the wedding!

The crazy thing to me is how fun it's all been.
I was the last person who wanted a "real" wedding.
Eloping---having the smallest ceremony possible, hopefully outdoors, then travelling was my idea. My groom convinced me that our families would appreciate otherwise. And you know what? He was so totally right.

Now that I'm in the midst of planning...I'm really enjoying it. My family has been letting me know how happy they are about things. And it is really wonderful seeing how happy they are, now they have an event to celebrate.

Truth be told, the last few times the family has gotten together it has been for funerals. How nice it is to be together for a happy occassion.

Our wedding will not be remembered for being an awesome party, the kick-ass food, or the best d.j. It will simply be a very personal, hand-crafted wedding. And nicely---that makes me a happy bride.

a new connection!

2008-09-16T19:17:00.002-07:00

Good news!

I will have periodic access to the wireless network which means---more posting!

Wahoo!

Exclamation points!

one day closer to green

2008-03-05T07:10:00.001-08:00

As my threes of readers may know, I’ve reduced my car driving to anecdotal amounts within the past year. What you may not know is that this reduction was, in large part, an experiment to see if I could do without a vehicle.

It’s not that I’m against cars. Cars can be very useful. It’s just that---well, I was “using” them all the time for convenience, instead of finding out what I really needed to use a car for. I was depriving myself of exercise, time to think, and just mucking up air quality all in the name of convenience. Thus…the experiment.

I walk to work frequently, and have managed to reduce my “grocery run” to twice a month instead of weekly. To help with the groceries, I’ve put panniers on my bicycle…( my local grocery store is three blocks from my home)…and I carpool with my fiancé’ for the BIG HAUL of staples that I store in my small standing freezer once a month. (If I didn’t carpool with him, I have a good relationship with a couple of neighbors and a few friends---so a once a month big grocery haul would still be a possibility). Slowly, I’ve discovered that most daily needs can be met without a vehicle.

It’s the incidental/accidental needs that have made me hold on to my vehicle for as long as I have. Worries about medical needs (my own, the pets) have kept me close to my vehicle. At least, until I discovered how efficient and affordable the local taxi system is!
Knowing that I could, at any time, call a taxi in the case of an emergency removed the final barrier to vehicle liberation.

So, after much consideration and experimentation, the fiancé’ and I have determined that we can be a one vehicle family---using his truck to get us from A to B, when necessary. Of course, we will still be walking to work when possible…biking to the grocery story/farmer’s market for our “weekly” needs. The only difference is our “back-up” vehicle will no longer be a necessary part of our life.
We will continue to find ways to use the one remaining vehicle less. After all, we want to improve air quality ---and driving less is a great way to do that.
What we save on maintenance/insurance/gas can be put in a “vehicle replacement fund”---which we likely will need within the next 5 years, since his vehicle is getting a tad older, too.
Hopefully that fund will allow us to purchase a more eco-friendly vehicle—one good on gas/emissions/has longevity---and that allows us to do field work in rough terrain. It’s a baby step---but for us, this is a BIG baby step.

Any suggestions on a good eco-friendly vehicle that’s good for rough terrain? (i.e. a high-enough chassis that won’t be ripped off by rocks?) I’ve heard wonderful things about the CR-V and the Element (both by Honda), but I know the gas mileage is less than ideal.

The Green Mile

2008-01-16T09:03:00.001-08:00

Over the past two years I’ve made a genuine effort to “green-up” my life.
I buy thriftily, make an effort to bring more local foods into my diet, and try, try, try to use my library more than amazon.com. (That last one is a toughie.)
I carpool when possible, bike when necessary, and walk often. I could recycle more than I do----and I’m working on reducing---but on the whole, I’m doing okay. It’s a process after all. I can’t do it all at once, and I shouldn’t chide myself for where I’m not. I’ll get there, one baby step at a time.

Overall, the best thing I’ve done to green-up my life was to move as close to work as possible. I have a very old vehicle that, even with good maintenance, is not long for the world. I knew that I could either (a) afford rent or (b) replace my car…but I could not do both. So, I chose to move close to work in the eventuality that my vehicle would die and I could not replace it immediately. You couldn’t say that I was re-locating for eco-reasons; they were fiscally motivated. Nevertheless, I made the move---and it ended up having several great results.

Great result (1) My car gas consumption is 2/3 less of what it was before the move. The savings alone is a blessing. What I save on gas, I’m putting in an account for my dream used vehicle.

(2)Time! I get to sleep in an extra 15 minutes in the morning, and I’m home 7 minutes after I leave work. I am better rested and more cheerful, generally.

(3) Air Quality! When I think of the carbon emissions I’m NOT making, I’m glad for the improvement in air quality. My vehicle is old---and although it is properly maintenanced, my car is still miles away from being a Prius. ( Just for fun, I bought carbon emissions offsets from Terrapass, too. What little I do drive it--- is carbon offset.)

(4) Exercise! Believe it or not, I live so close to work that I can walk there within 15/20 minutes. In good weather, I do walk. In bad weather, I carpool with a neighbor who also works where I do, and lives on my street.

So---living close to work? For it ! It’s the best and accidentally greenest thing I’ve ever done.
(:

wardrobe refashion

2007-12-19T15:09:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's like this...

I have been crafting lately.

I've been turning old t-shirts into underwear, taking a larger jacket and altering to a smaller one, bringing an extra long skirt up to a more flattering length, taking scrap fabric and making purses and shopping bags---and all for fifty cents ( that's what the big jacket cost.)

So, wish me luck!
This jacket project looks daunting, as I've never tried anything quite like this before. Should be fun,though.

The long and short of eco-fashion

2007-11-30T13:41:00.000-08:00

Truth be told, I’m an eco-fashionista.
It’s not because I watch “What Not to Wear” to get fashion tips, and check in with those catty Go Fug Yourself girls for fun …but because I understand that real fashion is very simple.

It involves finding (or altering) clothes that actually fit you...(i.e. no tugging buttons, shoulder seams actually ON your shoulders)…and finding them from good, solid sources with sustainable practices.

How does a person go about being fashionable and green, without breaking the budget?
Here’s what I’ve discovered…

1. The best way to save the planet is to wear what you have.
No kidding. When you bought that new, chic white blouse, you did it because you liked it and you knew you could use it. Using what you already own prevents new resources from being tapped to both make and transport the garment to its store. That’s a double whammy of earth savings!

2. Repair, repair, repair
If you are anything like me, you have a favorite pair of shoes. It goes with half of what you own, is amazingly comfortable, and (because you went with a classic style), is still in fashion. Want to make those favorites last longer? Take them to the cobbler! Put a new sole on them, have them polished, waterproofed---whatever it takes to get that pair to last longer!
And the same goes for clothes---a stitch in time, still saves nine. IF you can’t fix that busted seam, call your local seamstress. I’m sure she’ll appreciate the work, and you’ll appreciate the modest, budget-kind fee.

3. Wear it out
Use it until you can’t anymore---then find another use.
Your favorite blouse has been repaired 5 times now, and is getting too threadbare to be work appropriate. What do you do?
Salvage the best part of the fabric for a quilt that you (or a friend) may make—or take that last nice bit of fabric and make a headband, scarf, rug, or furniture dust rag.

4. Don’t buy it.
So, you’ve used that wonderful shirt to death, and now it’s your favorite headband.
Do you really need to buy a shirt to replace your old one?
Chances are you have four or five other shirts that are just as functional in your closet. Use them! They’ve been hanging out in your closet, waiting to shine, while the old favorite has gotten the glory. Let those clothes come into the limelight.

4. The Cleaners/The Cobbler
Believe it or not there are plenty of people who renege on their cleaning bills, and leave their clothes with the cleaners. Same thing happens with shoe cobblers. Check your local cleaner/cobbler and see if they have a “house cleaning” sale. They may give you the clothes/shoes for the price it cost to clean them.

5. Yard sale, Thrift, Consignment shop
Okay…Let’s say that you really do need to replace that old favorite blouse because it was the only one that went with three of your outfits
Now it’s time to shop in my favorite place: other people’s closets! (or, more accurately…their yards.)
I’m not suggesting you make a weekly habit of yard-sale-ing, as car gas usage may not be terribly eco-friendly. But pick a handful of weekends a year---map out your yard sale territories by using the online newspaper—and go shopping with an open mind.
Know that you need a new white sz 14 blouse, and all you see is a nice sz 18? Get that blouse, if the fabric is good.
Chances are you can have it altered to fit you. (And fit is the chief factor in being fashionable.) A nice shirt is one button shy of perfect? Get it. Buttons are the easiest things in the world to replace.

If you can’t find it at a yard sale, hit your thrift and consignment shops next. Your chances of finding the “right thing” increases if you shop in an upscale neighborhood where the Thift/Consignment discards of the nouveau riche can become your new treasures.

6. The truly new purchase
Okay, so you’ve hit the yard sales, excavated the thrift stores, and quested in the consignment shop all to no avail. Now what? Let’s buy it new!
Finding vendors whose products are not only environmentally conscious (made locally, in a sustainable way) by machinists paid a fair wage and treated well can be challenging depending on where you live. (Note: I didn’t say impossible. )

.Investigate your local vendors and see what they have to offer. You’ll be pleasantly surprised by what’s out there. (For example: Most Outfitter stores carry brands like Patagonia, whose cotton clothes are produced sustainably.)

However, if you can’t find it in your neighborhood…or even in your state…

There are two routes you can go with a new fashion purchase:
a. Buy from a reputable eco-retailer ( resource list following)
b. Make your own clothing from sustainably harvested fabrics.

With a couple of sewing classes/patterns at the local fabric shop, a thrift store/library copy of Vogue’s sewing bible, and the best organic fabric store I’ve ever seen ( nearseagrassnaturals) you can create perfectly tailored clothing that will make you the envy of the workplace.
Though eco-fabrics are pricier than their mainstream counterparts, they tend to be affordable because you have saved so much through thrift and good use. Nicely, you’ll create a distinctive, polished look through your ingenuity that is inimitable. And for my money---(and the planet’s sake)---that’s priceless.

Wedding Crash Course Reading

2007-11-30T13:39:00.002-08:00

http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/
(A marriage survival guide)

http://www.amazon.com/SOMEBODY-GOING-LILLY-DOESNT-BOUQUET/dp/1401302955
(The funniest thing I’ve read all year---and eerily accurate)

http://www.cheapwaysto.com/
(My wedding budget inspiration)

http://www.usedweddingdresses.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWCATS&Category=204
(A salvaged dress is an eco-dress.)

The Big Plunge

2007-11-30T13:39:00.001-08:00

Once upon a time a cavewoman met a caveman.
There was love.
There were fossils.
There were gratuitous amounts of kitten-love and sci-fi.
And now there’s a ring and a date!

With any luck, our love will be around to become a fossil…
So wish our little cave-hearts well
As we plunge into the big adventure together!

Just When You Think You Know Albert

2007-11-30T13:38:00.000-08:00

“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”—Albert Einstein

Meister Eckhardt makes me think….

2007-11-30T13:37:00.000-08:00

The beauty of a well-chosen word is that it forms our ideas about an object or event with great precision. It defines a void…gives it structure…and previously limitless territories can transform from the “firmament thereof” into the “Milky Way” with a little effort. This is useful, fitting… and profoundly limiting.

Too many times I think we are quite content to accept the name of an object or event as the sum of its meaning. Getting beyond the definition takes attention to detail---a willingness to be in the moment and open our senses to what we don’t know.

I may spend the rest of my life trying to truly understand that.

SQUEE!!!! Harry Potter Theme Park.

2007-06-01T06:16:00.000-07:00

Grab your Nimbus 2000 and fly into 2009, where the new Harry Potter Theme Park will be waiting.
I think I'm going to buy my plant ticket now. Well, in 2009, at least.

http://blog.wired.com/underwire/2007/05/calling_all_mug.html

LOST

2007-05-10T13:41:00.000-07:00

Ever been in a relationship where everything was just roses and daydreams in the beginning? Where you were in love and all was right in the world, even when you’re beloved “accidentally” left his socks lying around your bedroom? Remember that? Remember telling yourself that was cute? Then, remember after dating for about a year or so, you discover that his sweaty sweat socks don’t smell like roses after all, but are just----sweaty sweat socks, and the “cute”? Yea. Long gone.

Well, that’s where I’ve been with LOST, ABC’s show about Oceanic Flight 815’s dramatic crash and subsequent survivors’ hijincks on a remote island.
At first, it was the best thing going on t.v. It had it all.
Dramatic opening? Check.
Intriguing characters with convoluted backstories? Check.
Mystery? Inuendo? Gorgeous Scenery? Check. Check. Check.
I was in serious t.v. show crush.

I loved it. I looked forward to it. I couldn’t wait to find out how things were going to resolve themselves. I was deeply intrigued about the polar bears…and the scary black seemingly sentient fog. WOO!, So scary! So mysterious! I was in love----not for the first time ( Quantum Leap fills that place pretty solidly)…but in t.v. love, nevertheless.

After a bit, waiting for a semblance of plot advancement seemed fruitless.

LOST got lost in the department of backstory. Every week we got more and more backstory on various characters----and though that was interesting—it didn’t progress the story of our hapless strandees. Would they get off the island? Find out what the Dharma Initiative was? Find out what the hell was up with the scary, black sentient fog? Identify the source of the women’s unsuccessful pregnancies? So much left to answer. AND NOTHING FORTHCOMING.

So, I fell out of love with LOST. And, like many people evaluating where the relationship is going, . I stayed in it. Just not as enthusiastically as before. Maybe the relationship was worth saving? If only LOST would give me a sign that it really cared. As it was, eyeballing Jack and Sayid was nice, but it was far from enough to make me commit.

Truth be told, I stopped watching LOST for a while. Or I’d just watch it occasionally. I needed “space”, you know? I’d read, walk the dog, and watch a movie, anything. Eventually, my boyfriend talked me into watching the show again---, saying each time “This is the last time I’ll watch LOST”. (I even think he meant it. A little. Though he was as frustrated as I was, he just couldn’t stop watching. “Hopeful” is the word.)

FINALLY our patience paid off, and the last half of this season has been really interesting. Interesting and informative. Do we know who the Dharma Initiative was? Yep. Did someone finally get so tired of the anxiousness, that they just punched the hell outta an “other”? Yes. THANK YOU. Did Henry Gale/Ben/(---ah, hell, let’s call him BENRY)really kill all those people? Maybe. Do the women of the island really die when they get pregnant there? Yes. All good things to know.
But now there are lots of new questions…Will Locke die, or the island heal him? Is the Island a type of sentient Gaia, expressing itself through Benry? Are the island’s inhabitants really in the original garden of Eden? Is this all Benry’s imagination? Did everyone on Oceanic Flight 815 really die? What are the hostiles really up to? Now that the woman from the rescue mission is there, will crewmates from her ship come looking for her? So, good questions all, and all worth answering.

-(Nicely, the show’s script writers have promised us a resolution in three seasons, 16 episodes each, as well---so it promises to be more concise, and to have a defined ending. And forgive me, but I am just that easy. That comforts me. They also promise that the inhabitants are not in purgatory, FYI).

Another thing that has happened with continued watching of the show is that I have changed my expectations a bit. I’m a little happier just to get a good weekly story, instead of the much desired culmination of Hot. Plot. Action. ( Ahem. ) Do I want to live in the department of Backstory.? No. Still want the action? OF COURSE. But I’ll accept snugglebunnies for now.(i.e. I”ll tolerate the backstory of the hostiles, and of Jakob.)
My expectations are little less on the in love side, and a little more on the loving side. Sweaty Socks? Okay. Just put them in the laundry hamper. Let’s lay down a few ground rules, and all will be well.

With three episodes remaining in the season---I’m expecting love to come again.

Inspired by Julia

2007-05-10T13:40:00.000-07:00

100 things about me

1. I’m a planner.
2. I’m obsessed with Sci-fi
3. Joseph Cornell is my personal hero.
4. I dumpster dive for home decor
5. I am a cat person.
6. Once upon a time, I was a ballroom dancer.
7. I love to paint houses.
8. Without fail, it will take me 30 minutes longer than the average person to get from point A to point B.
9. This has everything to do with a learning disorder in spatial relationships.
10. Even though it takes me 30 minutes longer to get places, I always take off 30 minutes early----so I’m “on time”.
11..I’ve done some pretty embarrassing things.
12 No, I won’t tell you about them.
13. I have had a successful professional career.
14..Yea, I can juggle: Luna Stix and Diabolo.
15. I make the best hot chocolate that I have ever had.
16. Look up Celtic Lunar Zodiac---Hazelnut. Yep. That’s me.
17. Every summer I go on a quest for a yellow-meat water melon..
18. I’m trying to eat locally.
19. Little girls ALWAYS play with my hair.
20. If I was allowed to have only one part of my body massaged for the reset of my life---I’d pick my feet.
21. Give Birth or Adopt? Adopt. No question.
22. Lately, I’ve really been digging Bluegrass
23. If I could, I would take three months off and just travel.
24. I grow my own herbs.
25. I have worms for pets (Vermicomposting)
26. I never liked Seinfeld.
27. I am Tan’s complete opposite: Fish-Belly White.
28. I can recite, by memory, the entire poem “The Owl and the Pussycat”
29. I look exactly like my grandmother.
30. I would rather be beaten with a stick than watch sports.
31. I have a great, if odd, little family.
32 Even though I am a good budgeter, I am always worried about money. ( I know this is stupid.)
33. I once won a rib-eating contest.
34. I love self-help books.
35. If I had a superpower, it would be to go into anyone’s pantry, take the ingredients, and make a fabulous meal without going to the supermarket.
36. I’m seriously thinking of giving up my car, and living a bicyclists’ life.
37. I am constantly surprised at how people profess to love the environment, and yet never go outside.
38. I’m allergic to avocados.
39. And Bee Stings.
40. I occasionally have the urge to shoot birds at people who simply annoy me.
41. Realizing that it isn’t “nice” to do this, I disappear into the nearest bathroom and shoot away to my heart’s venom filled content. (This always makes me feel better.)
42. i can usually predict the end of movie.
43. I’ve always wanted to have an outdoor wedding.
44. I am Red Cross certified in first aid and cpr.
45. I would like to work in a plant nursery someday.
46. I hate it when people try to control me.
47. Daniel Craig or Sean Connery? Daniel Craig.(HAWT!)
48. Somehow, I turned into my mother. Just more “outdoorsy” and less techno-phobic.
49. I want to be adored by my workplace.
50. Did someway say sushi? Yes, please!
51. I am a fan of the well-timed hug.
52. I sneeze. Fiercely.
53. I am master of “the Mommy Look”. I can stop a misbehaving child’s actions with one raised eyebrow.
54. I wish Oprah would go to all the places I’ve worked before, and magic them bunches of money, so they can continue their good work.
55. I’d like Clinton and Stacy to make my wardrobe fabulous, and the folks from Designing Cents to fix my study AND my bedroom.
56. Quantum Leap is my favorite show in the history of EVER.
57. I cried when Dr. Beckett “never came home”.
58. I’m the good child.
59. I can be such an ass.
60. I have an irrational fear of driving off a bridge, the locks freeze on me, and I drown in my car.
61. I really, really, love the Harry Potter –verse.
62. Trees are my friends.
63. My biological clock never was wound.
64. I wish that were true for most people. (Just the irresponsible ones.)
65. I am a peacemaker.
66. Humanity frustrates and inspires me.
67. I have, on several occasions, been mistaken for a vegetarian and a ballerina, (and yet I am such a klutzy carnivore.)
68. Volleyball? I’m your bump, set girl.
69. I’m not afraid of the good fight.
70. I’m pretty useful in a trivia game.
71. i am fascinated by sideshows.
72. I love my boyfriend like crazy.
73. i may not know how to fix my car, but I certainly know how to use power tools.
74. I want to be forgiven of perceived mistakes, as much as of actual ones.
75. I play several instruments----badly.
76. i love my brothers, but don’t understand them as much as I’d like.
77. Whining is a big pet peeve of mine.
78. I think too much about things I can’t change.
79. One day, I am convinced that I will say all the things I’ve held back.
80. I will try to do this when I am old, and then blame it on my senility---so I’ll totally get away with it.
81. I am the best thrift shopper I know.
82. Except for my mom.
83. I expect you to reach your potential.
84. I’ve tried to read Moby Dick on several occasions.
85. I’ve never been able to get through it, and do not feel guilty about it.
86. Baked Feta in olive oil is proof that God loves us, and wants us to be happy.
87. I recently discovered how much I love coffee.
88. I was obsessed with Phantom of the Opera in high school.
89. My best indulgence comes in the form of a hot bath.
90. I’ve had a vision of my death---and it comforted me.
91. I tell people I love them only if I do.
92. I don’t really want to own a home. Yet.
93. I’m a good friend.
94. Creationists drive me crazy C-R-A-Z-Y
95. I genuinely feel that this life is my happy life---a life to make up for several previous lifetimes of crap.
96. i appear more confident than I really am.
97. My favorite place in the whole world is La Madeleine.
98. I rock a sz 14.
99. Fangirl? Yes!
100. I’m all about Jesus. I may be flawed---but I know I’m loved, and I’ll tell you you are too, you big sissy. (:

tree

2007-05-04T07:07:00.000-07:00

Recently, I watched Elizabethtown.
Not a bad movie. In fact, some of the scenes were quite charming.

In particular, I'm a fan of "the map", and one place the map takes our protagonist: The Survivor Tree in Oklahoma.

It's a weirdly cool little scene, that inspired a google search.

Take a peek at the survivor tree's relatives.

What a great idea.

http://www.aces.edu/dept/extcomm/newspaper/march7a02.html

The Christmas post---finally

2007-04-19T09:36:00.001-07:00

We wish you a frugal Christmas, and a debt free New Year

Every year I am challenged to find the best gifts for my ever-growing family. Not only must they be useful, thoughtful, and appropriate to the individual—they must also be affordable.

This year, as my family grew by 9 people ( 1 boyfriend + his family members = 9 people), my $265.00 Christmas budget was put to the test. Could I manage to find a gift that not only showed I cared, but that was useful AND appreciated by 28 people? Let’s look at how I did:

My immediate family:

Niece #1: A beautiful brown silk/rayon fitted woman’s blouse, with chrysocola chandelier earrings. Gorgeous.

Price: $0

(Both were in my wardrobe. I had outgrown the once worn blouse not long after its purchase from a consignment shop. It looks “new” and the dark brown will be beautiful with S’s sandy blonde hair, as will the swirling greens of the chrysocola (a gift from a former boyfriend).

Niece #2: Baby pink cashmere turtleneck and pink chandelier earrings.

Price: $50.00

Though pricier than most gifts I give…this was the perfect thing for E. Beautiful color for her skin, and extra soft. I hope she likes it. (Yet again, the jewelry was something in my possession. It was just time to move it on.)

Niece #3: A coordinated outfit of spring green (sweater, summer dress), and a handmade paper journal with aster flowers.

Price $0

The outfit was a hand-me down from a friend who received it as a hand-me down from her sister who had undergone a dramatic weight loss. Though the outfit was a size too small for me (and her), it is in excellent condition. . The journal was a gift from a former employer, and it is beautiful---I thought a young collegiate woman like K could benefit from having something special in which to keep her thoughts.

Brother #1: Two bottles of black cherry juice (recommended by his doctor, and very hard for him to find in his hometown), and a remote phone for his home, land-line use.

Price: $ 18.00

I had to track down the juice at the health food store. Though not an ideal gift, it was something he needed. And something needed can be a much appreciated gift. The phone was one that I had in the home, and since I’m “all cell, all the time” now, this is something he can use.

Brother #2: Decorating Junkmarket Style

Price $ 20.00

Corduroy jacket and coordinating cotton flannel shirt

Price $ 8.00

I paid a little too much for this fabulous book at the book store. I could have gotten it cheaper at Amazon.com, I found out later. Nevertheless, it is just about the perfect gift for S., as it gives him plenty of ideas for his Junkyard Antiques business. I was going to let the gift stop there---but then I found the shirt and jacket at a yard sale, and it was too good to pass up.

And now for the tough customer:

Mom: An oversized flannel nightgown.

Price: $27.00

Cute, suede shoes, size 7
Price: $3.00

Mom is the hardest person in the world to shop for. She doesn’t want anything that she’d tell you about, so you have to corner her to get to admit that there are a few material things that she would enjoy. This year, I got her to give me a list. The only thing she really wanted on the list was the oversized flannel nightgown. After a thorough store search, the “right” nightgown was found at Amazon.com. Oh, how I love Amazon.com.

The shoes I got at a yardsale. Never worn---still had the sticker on them. Perfect.

Nephew-in-law:

Sterling silver paperweight with quote from Thoreau.

Price: $0

This lovely thing was hard to part with---but as I had a tight budget, and I really wanted something nice for C. to use since he is starting his own business. .

Great Niece #1: Heirloom Book on Babysitting

Price: $0

This was the book that I bought at the ripe old age of 11 when I found out I was to be an aunt for the first time. I used this book as guidance on how to care for Great Niece #1’s mother, when she was new and shiny. Now that GN#1 has a little sister and is showing an interest in family history—this is a nice way of respecting our family’s life.

Great Niece #2: Sweatshirt with a logo of my workplace.

Price: $0

It’s pretty, it’s warm—and it was a “gift” from my workplace when they decided that it was “damaged” due to a water leak in the storage room. After a good washing, the sweatshirt is good as new, and is a little memento of where of G. Auntie works. This also has the added bonus of not adding one more toy to a baby’s pile of growing stuff. This is one the parent’s can appreciate.

The boyfriend’s family:

When you can, shop in your own wardrobe. When you can’t---comparison shop at Amazon.com, or ebay.

Sister #1: Earrings

Price: $0

Sister #2: Earrings

Price: $0

Step-mother: Earrings

Price: $ 15.00

Mother: Chopping board and basket, with little book of Christmas Stories

Price: $0 (I had this as a gift from last year. Nice. But I didn’t need it. When I was at the Mother’s house last, she was searching everywhere for a chopping board. This seemed like the thing for her. Plus, she reads a great deal and would appreciate a sweet little book with Christmas stories.)

Brother #1: Book of William Bartram’s travels

Price: $0

(Truth be told, I bought this book ages ago to impress a naturalist I was dating at the time. “Look at me! I’m smart! I too, love Bartram!” Anyway, though a lovely, informative book, I never really appreciated it the way it should be. Since the brother is a naturalist and intellectual at heart—he would appreciate Bartram.)

Brother #2:???

Price: $0

Honestly, I just met him and didn’t know what to do for him, since he is seldom home. (His work makes him travel a great deal.) For this year, I’ll just make him a card, and mail it to his current post.

The Father: A book on cooking wild game.

Price: $10.00

I bought it on sale, and it the perfect thing for him as he is a hunter and a chef.

Friends:

Best friend #1: St. Brendan’s cross necklace

Cost: $0

The necklace was a gift from an old boyfriend---and as I am moving into a new phase of my life with the right man for my life, it seems only appropriate to give this old but fabulous jewelry to people who will love it, as much for what they are, as for who gave it to them.

Best friend #2 and family: a potpourri of stuff

Cost: $3

The pet carrier, which is something they desperately need---was a gift to me that my cats rejected. Their cats will like it, as it is much like the old carrier they had, before the vet accidentally lost it. (Don’t ask. It was partly my fault, and I still feel badly about it.)

The purse is for their daughter. My boyfriend won it as a door prize at a games’ party he attended. We agreed it would be a good gift for L.

The cool luggage straps were specialty items that were discontinued at the giftshop. Since they were being marked “out of stock”, the manager put them on a table that said “Make a donation and take your item”. So---I donated a few dollars and took two luggage straps. They will be perfect for P’s military bag, where he keeps his armor.

Also—I passed down a book to the best friend, signed by the author. It was a gift to me, and it is wonderful. It is all about chakras, and since she is very into yoga lately, that seemed her kind of thing more than mine.

They recently “fixed” many bathroom problems---but they still need a little decoration to spruce the place up. I passed on some Ikea giftcards that a friend gave to me, but which I could never use because they never had what I needed. However, it seems they have just what this group of friends needs.

And finally, I offered up one free night of babysitting so they could have a date night.

It is a big gift, and sortof extravagant. But they helped me tremendously when I first moved here---and I thought they needed something BIG to help them in all the ways they are moving nowadays.

Good friend #1: Shishka Mirror embroidery Indian make-up purse. Gorgeous.

Price: $0

I found it at a yardsale I helped to co-host. At the end of the day, it hadn’t sold, and the lady who was selling it, gave it to me. This made me really happy as my budget was getting low, and as the friend that I am giving it to travels a great deal and may enjoy something in which she can carry her “stuff”.

Good friend #1: Earrings.

Price: $0

These were made by the lady who helped to co-host the yardsale. Just gorgeous. She gave a few pair away to folks who were working the yard sale.

I know just who to give these to. They will look lovely with her hair. (:

Best work buddy #1: Necklace ( $0)

Best work buddy #2: Earrings ($0)

Best work buddy #3: Earrings ($0)

All other friends that I love, but who live far away: Home-made cards

Price $postage

All other immediate work buddies: Boxes of tea and cards

Price: $7.00 total

(I really thought about just making a few cards---but when I found an appropriate gift at the salvage store for 60 cents each, and a box of 16 Christmas cards for $ 1.75, I went for it. After all, it never hurts to try to improve your work relationships, even if it is through spreading a little Christmas cheer.)

The Boyfriend:

As the last, but not least person on my list, he is the second hardest for which to shop because he doesn’t seem to need or want anything.

However, every time we were near a Cracker Barrel he would wistfully look at the rocking chairs and say “I’d really like a rocking chair.”

So, I looked into rocking chairs.

I have to admit, it is hard to find a good quality frugal rocking chair. After looking around on the internet (Ebay, Amazon, JC Penny, yes, even Cracker Barrel), I ended up finding the rocking chair of his dreams at my brother’s junkyard antique shop. It desperately needs reupholstering—but it is a gorgeous late 1800s rocker that will be worth the effort. Oh---and my brother gave that to me, so the reupholstering will be where the expense comes in. (Since this is an antique, I’m not venturing to upholster this one myself).

I’m told that I can expect to pay as much as $100.00 for the upholstery/labor. But I think that a bargain for an antique, which only accrues in value, when the cheapest I could get for a new one (JC Penny, BTW), was around $80.00.

Final Christmas Total: $265.00

All gift wrap came from unused wall-paper rolls that were found in the house I moved into this year, or from the yard sale I co-hosted, and salvaged from freshly put out recyclables by my neighbor. Very pretty stuff---and it all worked well as gift wrap.

So, 28 gifted people later, we all are having a merry Christmas---as much because the gifts were good ones, as that I was able to live within my budget.

I admit, this type of gift-giving may not be for you. After all, not everyone can shop in their own closet when items have reached their usefulness potential, co-host one yard sale, and end up with so much cool stuff. . Not everyone has a family that is good with anything less than brand new stuff, or that may be as budget conscious as yourself. But then again---maybe this is for you.

Maybe you are tired of bustling about in the mall, or spending endless amounts of time internet shopping? Maybe you want to unplug a little from consumerist approach to Christmas? Or maybe you just want to re-use and re-gift as a form of resource management ? Whatever the path you choose---I hope this account of my Christmas thrift gives you hope for your gift giving adventures—and makes your spirits bright, this wonderful time of year.

Blessings to you all…and Merry Christmas

Today's fun

2007-04-19T09:33:00.001-07:00

http://www.medievalcookery.com/index.shtm

Books

2007-04-19T09:30:00.000-07:00

1. One book that changed your life?
Danny and the Dinosaur by Syd Hoff

2. One book you have read more than once?
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

3. One book you would want on a desert island?
A Pattern Language: Towns, Buildings, Construction, by Chris Alexander et al.

4. One book that made you laugh?
Yes Man! By Danny Wallace

5. One book that made you cry?
Clockwork Orange, by Anthony Burgess

6. One book you wish had been written?
Honestly, I think they all have been written. I just haven’t found them yet.

7. One book you wish had never had been written?
The Rules, by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider
One book you are currently reading?

Mississippi Gardening Month by Month, by Felder Rushing

8. One book you have been meaning to read?
Active Assessment for Active Science: A Guide for Elementary School Teachers by George Hein and Sabra Price.

Madly in love with spring

2007-04-12T11:32:00.000-07:00

"Spring is here, life is skittles and life is beer."--Tom Lehrer

The salvia is blooming, the yellow flag irises have sprung, the mulberry tree is full to bursting in my yard, and FINALLY my tomato plants have flowers. We'll see if this means I'll have tomatoes later this year. Keep your fingers crossed, and check with me in June to see if they great container garden experiment works. If I can grow a bunch of 'maters in a 5 gallon bucket, I will be queen of the universe...or at least of my patio. That'll be enough for me. (:

Oh immortal bean-squeezin' goodness, I've missed you!

2007-04-11T12:08:00.000-07:00

Lent is a time to give-up something, and to take on something. Particularly, it is a time to contemplate all that Christ did by going into the wilderness for 40 days.

For me, Lent was a time to give up coffee and take on walking.
Not such a big deal. But it was. For me.

Instead of making me reflective on what my lord and saviour gave up for me...it only made me want coffee more. I dreamt about it. Talked wistfully about when I could have coffee again, and savoured it all too much on feastdays, when I was allowed coffee again. (See how this wasn't really acheiving the goal?)
Also, choosing a morning walking time was sheer folly. I looked forward to my days off, so I could sleep in and avoid the movement that required alertness...the alertness I did not have, due to not having coffee. ( See? I really didn't think this out at all.)

Now, Lent is over and Eastertide is here and I'm back on the sacred bean I can tell you this....

Not all coffee is good coffee.
When coffee is good, it is really good.
That giving up coffee in NO WAY equals anything Christ gave up in the wilderness, so he could improve his relationship with the Father.
Even so, giving up coffee still made me think ( a little) about what Christ did sacrifice for me.

Weird, huh?
I went the long way around to know what I already knew: That Jesus rocks and I'm weak, and that man, do I ever love good coffee.

Oh---and though this post is drivel, please note one important thing:

You can comment now!
Wahoo!

spring cleaning

2007-03-12T14:02:00.000-07:00

I'm trying the new blogger---and have updated the blogroll.
It's a work in progress--but there are a few more fun things to play with now.

Happy Spring.

Is that a Classic in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

2007-02-08T10:50:00.000-08:00

A recent gift of yard saling thrift ( See, I can rhyme! And use yard saling as a verb!) has opened a portal to 1910, wherein I am learning much about the authors of the time.

Though the book's title is benign enough The Ridpath Library of Universal Literature, it is the subtitle that amuses me: A Biographical and Bibliographical Summary of the Worldâ€™s Most Eminent Authors, including the Choicest Selections and Masterpieces from their Writings, Comprising the Best Features of Many Celebrated Compilations, Notably: The Guersey Collection, The De Guy Collection, The Ridpath Collection CAREFULLY EDITED AND ARRANGED BY A CORPS OF THE MOST CAPABLE SCHOLARS.

I don's know what is funnier: That the editor went to such great lengths to indicate that this is the BEST literature the world has to offer, (God forbid that we would soil our eyeballs with the reading of anything less than John Milton!) or that all of the best literature is European, while the rest of us ( American, African, etc) ---just suck.

So, over the next couple of weeks I will be reading this tome to find out how amusing the European literature of 1910 may be, and try really really hard not laugh when I think that this was published in New York.

blue

2007-01-20T12:39:00.000-08:00

It's a lovely Saturday in Jackson, and I'm up to no good---happily sleeping most of the day away whilst my new face cream works on making my skin more "supple and glowing". Ha! Anyway, my skin does feel good and the little lines around my eyes are bit less---so, I guess it was a good buy.

I have tried on a few separate occassions to post thoughtfully composed drivel, but have met resistance with the local library computer. Macs being slightly new beasts to me---and the library imposing "blocks" on the machines---certainly have cut down on my chattiness.

So, pretend you read a riveting post about my frugal christmas---and about how I was able to gift 28 people for around $250.00---which I thought was really quite good. Also pretend you read a post about how I was deeply influenced by children's literature. Then, pretend it was the very best literature you ever laid your eyes on---on the computer---and that you wish I would just write more---and that I would figure out how to allow comments. *sigh*

Anyway--other than all of this nonsense---life is relatively good.

I'm a little blue lately, but I'm not certain why.
Maybe I feel like I'm not getting enough positive feedback at work?
I'm happy enough---but I just am not thrilled when I wake up every morning to go to work. Content..yes. But not thrilled as I once was.

And that is different for me.

So, I'm thinking and praying.

The benefits where I am are quite good---and I do like the people and the work. But on the whole, I'm not certain I'm making a difference anymore. I may be wrong. It's hard to measure these things. But I'd like a little excitement--a little "VOOM" that makes it feel worth it. A little appreciation where I can feel it. At least, I think it may be that.

Anyway--keep me in your prayers. That my attitude may improve--and that I may find my happiness again.

One Year

2006-11-22T07:53:00.000-08:00

It's been a little over a year since I moved to lovely Jackson, and I have to say...I'm a happy girl.

To-night my beloved and I celebrate our one year anniversary. To wit--I'm making an evening's winter picnic for us--complete with candles, good food, and pleasant music.

All kittens will be given the evening "off" their busy jobs of being furry and gray.
All pups will play in the backyard.

It's a great start to a holiday.

Your Homework Assignment

2006-11-22T07:49:00.000-08:00

Need something to do this thanksgiving weekend?

Other than give thanks for your many blessings?

Go see the new James Bond movie.

Oh, the hawt!!! Oh the badness!! Oh the better-than-average Bond plot.

Craig's bond may be an unpolished, arrogant ass, (this is an origin story after all) but he is still imminently likeable.
Go see it. It's worth the price.

mayday

2006-11-21T14:46:00.000-08:00

Hi.
I'm having the toughest time getting this blog to allow comments.

Don't know what is up.
I've gone into the template and fiddled with the Comments section.

All to no avail.

Ug.

Any ideas?

Provided of course, you can find a way to get them to me.

The Alternative Lifestyle

2006-11-18T13:56:00.000-08:00

I am no stranger to living within a budget.
I cook my own food (mostly), get movies at the library or on loan from friends, repair my existing favorite pair of shoes instead of buying new ones, and always, always, manage to put at least $30.00 per month into my Miscellaneous envelope for those “just for fun” expenses which keep my consumer soul a blaze with good, healthy capitalist fervor.

On the whole, that is.

Do I go out for movies? Yes.
Do I occasionally buy a new pair of shoes? Yes.
Do I sometimes spend some of my food budget on the “just for fun” stuff? Yes.

Although I embrace thrift as my “alternative lifestyle”, it hasn’t turned me into the humorless bastard you see at cocktail parties, bemoaning the injustice of a modest income.

Quite the contrary…
I get what I absolutely need, and a good deal what I want. I keep “the big picture” of where I want to be (financially and otherwise) in mind when I’m faced with tempting invitations (join us for lunch!), exciting opportunities ( let’s take a trip to Ireland!) or considering that major purchase(I really need to get a new vehicle.): Does it mean that I never join my friends for lunch, or take those awesome trips? No, it doesn’t. But it may mean that I invite them to bring a bag lunch and to join me on the picnic table. Or that the trip is to Memphis, instead of Ireland--, or that I carpool to work for just a little longer before I launch into vehicle ownership.

Sure, it may not be completely convenient. And I imagine a few of my friends are a little frustrated by my strict adherence to THE BUDGET. But it gets me to where I need to be.: student loan free and working on the future. And isn’t freedom a beautiful thing?
I spend time and money on the things that mean the most to me. And I don’t think I’m missing anything.

Getting to that place where thrift is natural and useful takes time.
I’m not there yet, but I’m getting better.
Sure, I repair my shoes and keep them for longer than the average person. I carpool, I get my books from the library, and even buy in bulk when possible. But I am a sucker for good quality skincare products and my grocery bill is far more than the average person’s. It’s something I’m working on. I realize these are my weaknesses---and I’m trying to find ways to work it out.

The point is…frugality is a journey that starts somewhere---whether it’s repairing your shoes, forgoing that Latte’ at Starbucks, or making bulk purchases.

There are a few good books out there that talk about the pathway to frugality. Amy Dacyczyn’s “The Complete Tightwad Gazette” is the very best of them all, as it has recommendations on how to be frugal with EVERYTHING. And what she doesn’t comment on concerning frugality, isn’t worth knowing.

Judy Levine, author of Not Buying It: My Year Without Shopping, chronicles her great experiment with buying only the true necessities of life. Though it is little thrill to anyone who is already living on a strict budget to see a middle-aged yuppie come to terms with only buying life’s necessities instead of its luxuries ( not buying your latte is a sacrifice!), the book still fronts a cool idea: That our idea of needs can be quite different than our wants.

Even though the later book has been poorly reviewed, and mainly for Ms. Levine’s politics more than for her actual experiment, I cannot say that I fault her for finding out what was truly most important to her—physically and psychologically. Her voluntary sacrifices, even though of luxuries, are still to be applauded.

As I said before---a journey to frugality is just that---a journey. And for some of us –the road to frugality is longer than others.

Due in part to Ms. Levine’s inspiration, and with the encouragement and wisdom offered by Amy Dacyczyn’s books and Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace Revisited I am going to be spending (aargh! The “s” word!) the next year conducting my own experiment: How low can my debt go?

Why? One word: Freedom

I don’t want to be beholden to anyone; least of all the student loan folks.

I’m grateful their loans enabled me to get the education that helped me land my dream job---but now its time to pay it back as fast as I can. If I can get out from under those loans, I’ll be free, truly free, to do the following things that I need and want to do:
a. Have an emergency fund
b. Plan a beautiful wedding
c. Get a good quality used vehicle
d. Take care of my family
e. Donate to charitable causes
f. Have a retirement plan

I know it will take time to achieve all of these things. It’s a journey, after all. And it all begins January 1, 2007, as by then I will have put aside a “baby emergency fund”, per Dave Ramsey’s recommendation, —and thus can start shoveling funds toward debt elimination.

Tune in later to find out “How Low Can My Debt Go?” is progressing.

I’ll keep you riveted with charming anecdotes of frugal life; yummie homemade recipes; tips on keeping warm in winter (most of these will involve snuggling up to warm boyfriends, putting extra quilts on the bed, or placing your restless kitty cats on your feet to keep them cozy), and of course, the requisite “weekly transit report” to let you know how I’m doing transitioning to semi-complete pedestrianism.

Sounds like fun?!

You Betcha!

And while I’m at it, I may include a little eco-kitsch musings. There is an awful lot of overlap between frugal living and a healthy environment. It’s not exactly your mamma’s “Voluntary Simplicity” movement---but it’s a good place to start.

Two cool cats

2006-08-12T15:18:00.000-07:00

Two kittens placed, two to go. Wahoo!!
The little stray that showed up pregnant has turned out to be a very good first time mother. Her 7 week old babes have been relatively easy to place since the neighborhood has deemed their care a community effort.
Next step is to get pics of the remaining two to incorporate into a flyer for the vet offices.

Anyone want a kitty?

Meme

2006-08-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

1) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.

Our government doesn’t test many products for safety, so frequently it’s up to the companies themselves to conduct research studies to prove that their own products aren’t harmful.

2) Stretch your left arm out as far as you can and see what you touch.
Preying Mantis Gazette.

3) What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Bones

4) Without looking, guess what time it is.
4:00

5) Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
3:16

6) With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Air conditioning, and laughing children

7) When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
When I went to lunch, at the magically delicious Aladdin’s.

8) Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
A series of blogs.

9) What are you wearing?
My come-hither, ruched-neck peasant blouse, turquoise neclace, jeans that actually fit, and Chaco sandals. ( I’m such a hippie.)

10) Did you dream last night?
Something about hammers and anvils.

11) When did you last laugh?
When watching Frazier the other night.

12) What is on the walls of the room you are in?Pictures of my students, a Native plants poster I designed, a poster by the National Geographic Society on the DAWN OF HUMANS, a poster depicting the fossil locations within MS, the gym schedule, the International Ballet Competition’s flyer, Prehistoric Indian tribal chart, a picture of my paternal family, a card “embracing the great wisdom of womankind—mothers sisters, friends”.

13) Seen anything weird lately? Always.

14) What do you think of this quiz?Enjoyable and fruitless, simultaneously.

15) What is the last film you saw?The Station Agent

16) If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?Gerard Butler. (:

17) Tell us something about you that we don't know.
My birthmark is shaped like Great Britian.]

18) If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
The world population would thrillingly embrace birthcontrol and become big proponents of adoption of all kids, aged birth-18 years, that need homes.

19) Do you like to dance?YES!!!

I dance swing and ballroom with equal vigor, and once upon a time, did the renaissance dance thing.

20) George Bush
He is human, therefore worthy of compassion. But I will be thrilled when he is out of office.

21) Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Donella.
22) Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Liam Christopher

23) Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes.
24) What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?

You are forgiven. Now, come on in!

What's the dish?

2006-06-17T14:49:00.000-07:00

Today's word: Gerontology.

Was listening to the radio today about some of the challenges our senior citizens are facing, and I have to admit it--getting older scares me.

Of course, there is the stuff you would expect me to be frightened of: decline in health, memory, loneliness.

But then there are things that I only recently started thinking about: loss of dreams, abilities, responsibilities--and not just for me, but for my mother as well.

My Mom is in her mid sixties. She is legally blind, and has the usual aches and pains you would expect of a woman who has lived an active life. In many respects she is quite youthful. To look at her beautiful face, you would place her in the late 40s, or early 50s.

But she recently made it through a necessary surgery and it solidified the thought that she may not be here forever, and that the time she has remaining may not be as active or as healthy as it has been in the past.

You read this and think "Well, gee, what did you expect?"

Well, I expected it. And I didn't.

Stages of realization, I suppose.

Sometimes I think mom is quite content just to stay on the farm, keep the house clean, and wait expectantly for someone to come and visit her, or take her to the grocery store. ( Her regular routine.)

But there is so much to life, and I don't want her to feel stuck in her routine--waiting to die.

66 is brilliant! Or certainly can be.
And I want to be a part of her life, and help her find the great adventures that the golden years can be.

She was a child bride. She had never lived alone before my father's death. And there is so little that she has ventured into the world to do beyond raising her children and loving her husband. ( Good things, all---I'm not belittling them.) Now the children are grown, the husband is buried and now it is time to embrace the future.

I want my Mom to find the life of a woman liberated. To travel a bit, maybe. (She is almost completely sessile, but when someone drags her out, she has such a good time.) To come and spend time with me in Jackson--maybe for a couple of weeks, or a month. I'd like to take a cruise with her, or do some gardening, or abduct her for volunteer work---take her to the museums, take her to a movie--hook her up with the kicking 70 year olds I know down here who kayak, canoe, and generally have a great time being mature, knowledgeable women.

I'm just afraid that what she is doing is cleaning that house, all day long, as if it ever were really dirty to begin with.

And I haven't a clue where to begin---

Mom says she's happy--but when we talk, there is always that sadness in her voice, and her expressed disapointment in how the "boys" are or are not living up to her expectations.

So, internet...how do I get my Mom to think about a healthy future? A happy place to be?

How do I get the realtionship that I really want with her?

6 things

2006-05-18T09:30:00.000-07:00

Sarah tagged me ages ago to enlighten my threes of readers to 6 things about Cavewoman you didn’t know before. *sigh*.

Since I’m so boringly an open book, I’m going to have to dig deep to find a small corner of my soul to expose, which heretofore hasn’t seen the light of day.

So, here goes…

1. I talk in my sleep. (This was attested to by a whole group of friends that I went camping with one midsummer evening.) Apparently, I carried on an entire conversation with my then-boyfriend about blacksmithing, and the new armor he was making. Interestingly enough, he was also asleep at the time.

2. I have participated in two field schools. Geology and Archaeology. Imagine it. Alabama. Summer. 102 degrees in the shade. Nickname: Swamp thing.

3. I love food. Particularly meat. Fried chicken is a close family friend, and bar-b-que is almost as close. (And yes, cholesterol levels are almost entirely genetic and I can eat whatever I want and still have the lowest natural cholesterol levels you have ever seen.)

4. I occassionally have prescient dreams and waking visions. These happen extremely rarely now that I'm older, but as a child they were frequent enough to frighten me. I foretold my Aunt's hospital visit, my father's death, meeting a friend I had not seen in several years, and I have foreseen my own death. I am rather old, reasonably happy, have outlived my husband, and I believe am living with my best friend.

5. I once took a few fencing lessons. My instructor looked a little like Mr. Sulu of Star Trek.

6. I recently have hurt my back, and have been going to a chiropractor twice a week, and doing yoga once a week. I am getting better---and I cannot sing the praise of yoga and chiropractic enough.

**Bonus* Currently I am reading Snowcrash.

Obit. of the supreme

2006-04-24T11:31:00.000-07:00

Cavewoman, 35, was found as a "ball of goo" by her neighbor, Laura the magnficent, at 1:10pm EST.

Known to her friends as "The Lightning Lady", "The Snake Lady", and in some circles as a shrimp goddess, Ms. woman lived a vibrant and exciting life, travelling the southeast as an environmental educator.
Though she had recently moved to Mississippi, Ms. Woman was adapting well to the new environs, feeling that she had prepared sufficiently for the move by watching, repeatedly, Mississippi Burning, and A Time to Kill. However, no matter how much glistening sweat she noticed on the body of Samuel L. Jackson, or on the magically hot Matthew McConne---something or another--she was not prepared for the bone melting heat provided by the sultrily luscious Mississippi summer.

According to the coroner's report, MS's summer began at 1:00pm. Ms. Woman, enjoying her lunch on the veranda ( of course, where else?), burst into flames at 1:02pm, and proceeded to melt. A few minutes later, her neighbor discovered the goo, and called the police.

Ms. Woman's vivaciousness, irreverence, succulence, and general good-gal-ness will be missed by all. Especially by her students, and by the critters that she was fond of using in her programs. She is survived by two grey stealth kittens, two raccoons who will terribly miss the kitten food on her back porch, and a sweet and wonderful boyfriend who shall now have to console himself by watching b-grade sci-fi movies "in order to remember her by".

At least you can't say I don't have goals

2006-04-19T10:27:00.000-07:00

Things to do (Wednesday)

1. Shop for sister’s birthday present.
2. Change the face of American Wetlands Ecology Education
3. Video workout
4. Resist urge to place 10 tons of birth control in Jackson’s public water supply.
5. Smile more.

Outgoing Links

2006-04-19T10:02:00.000-07:00

The past six months have been interesting. New state, new job, new boyfriend, new home. And that’s just for starters. In the midst of all the ruckus, I’ve done a little internet hopping and have found a few things worth a link. Some of these may even make my blogroll.

Anyway, have a look and see what you like. You're bound to be smiling at some of this stuff.

The Writer’s Almanac. The best poetry is spoken. Click, listen, and savor the pleasure of someone reading to you. It’s as comforting as it was when you were 6. http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/programs/2001/04/16/index.html

Write your own obituary! Make is saucy. Live the live you always wanted, and then end it with panache! http://youdied.blogspot.com/

Liberal. Uninhibited, outspoken and sexy. Just like me, but bolder! http://susiebright.blogs.com/susie_brights_journal_/

I have joked for years that Animal is my favorite muppet. Why am I not surprised that we share the same personality? http://www.blogthings.com/themuppetpersonalitytest/outcome.php

My new, favorite superhero. http://grannyvibe.blogspot.com/

You CAN get fined faster for waving a gun around than for shooting one. Honest. In Mississippi, that is. Checkout this site and find out how crazy your state may be. http://www.crazylaws.com/

Learning to love as Christ loved, while embracing a healthy dating life. http://www.crosswalk.com/community/singles/1368442.html

Dating. It’s big. It’s scary. And it may just be a good way to grow in Christ. This article, by my favorite psychologists/Christian counselors Cloud and Townsend guide you through the “How can I tell this is the person for me?” thought process. I’ve found it helpful. And if you are dating that “someone special”, this may be of use to you. http://www.cloudtownsend.com/Articles/7articles5.htm

If you are reading this, you should think about thanking someone. No Great Teacher Left Behind invites you to write about your favorite teacher ;( why stop there? Heck, call her up and express your gratitude). http://ngtlb.blogsome.com/

Anyone surprised I’m a Hufflepuff? Yea. Didn’t think so. http://sorting-hat.com/househu.htm
She’s weird. She’s wonderful. And she must have an awful lot of spare time to put this stuff together. Wow. http://misscellania.blogspot.com/

A bit on the off side and therefore wonderful. If fate is kind, we’ll share shots of whiskey one day, and “stick it to the man!” http://www.amanda.veryzen.com/

Sweet Jesus, Tuscan orange!

2006-04-15T14:55:00.000-07:00

Taking the Lord’s name in vain, but only for humorous purposes and not for real, so please don’t let this be something I need forgiveness for…amen.

I’m in!
My own home!
The boxes are unpacked, the kitchen is functioning, and all I can really think about is
getting comfy furniture, knick-knack placement, and choosing pretty paint for the kitchen and the bedroom.
Shallow, I know.
My concentration is shot…I go to sleep and I see paint swatches. I wake up and I try to figure out where I should hang the spiral votive ironwork. This beautiful season of lent, which should be fraught with spiritual discipline is instead, filled with home decorating decadence.
So, I pray a bit---and then daydream of terracotta living rooms, taupe bedrooms, and a cool green or a tuscan orange kitchen. *sigh*
What would baby Jesus say? Green? Tuscan Orange? These are harsh Lenten/almost \easter realities to be faced with on a rainy afternoon.

But it is nice to put things where they go and find myself in a more comfortable space than I've been in in a while.

I'll be posting regularly by June---but until I get this crazy phone/computer stuff worked out ( even know I am posting at a cyber cafe), things will be slim.

Nothing against breeding, but...

2006-03-01T17:19:00.000-08:00

I’m a little perturbed that when I type in “Women’s health, age 35” in google, and get a series of links about women having healthy babies.

As if that was the only health concern of a woman solidly in her 30s.

So, I go back to google, and amend the search, removing “pregnancy” from the search results. Only to find out that the asthma death rate for women aged 35 to 64 years is 22.3 per million, that osteoporosis really is a big concern, and that I really should have a thyroid test as well as a base-line mammogram now.

I also discovered when I turn 50, I need a “fecal occult blood test”, which only makes me think of some buffy-esque bad guys testing my fecal blood to determine if my poo is possessed with the blood of the believer.

At any rate, I’m no less informed than when I began the search, and I am, perhaps, a little more frightened of what the future may hold. Especially if there is chanting involved with the fecal occult blood exam.

Every Teacher's Burden

2006-02-23T19:19:00.000-08:00

I had a moment today where one of my students got "it". And by "it" I means the particular type of "it" I throw in class concerning how our actions affect those around us.

And it was a beautiful thing. The heavens opened and the cutest cherubs were flying around singing "Hallelujiah!". There was joy. In Mudville, amongst other places.

A while later there was another moment where a different student didn't get "it" at all. He was too wrapped up in his world to see that what he does affects everyone around him. And I realized that, for that moment, the lesson plan with him had to be thrown out the window. I focused on his understanding the subject for as long as I could without losing the rest of the class, who were ready to go to the next step. And then it was time for class to dismiss.

This is what a crack in "the system" looks like. You put a bunch of kids in a class, give them as much individual attention as you can---and try to cover the things that will actually help them in life. But there is always a student who needs more---more than you can give---more than the parents are often willing to give. And they fall through the "crack" because so many others must go before them.

I celebrate my "hallelujiah child" but I'm fighting for the others too.

In a dream world, there are ten students per teacher. Each student has tutorial time with a specialist, and time to pursue independent projects. Kids will be allowed to play at recess, on swings, on playgrounds, instead of forced into mandatory games or exercise regimes. They can explore those grounds, and create their own games. They get extra attention in math and art. And they are encouraged to explore their interests, while still becoming aware of the complexities of the world.

I want the best for my students. Until the day when that is acheived... it is

agony and ecstasy. Draw your breath in pain, and celebrate the life it gives you.

There and Back Again

2006-02-22T05:27:00.000-08:00

Made my annual “get your taxes done” trip to my tax man---except this year the trip to Helena was a might further than it usually is, due to the move to MS.

Since it was a B’ham trip… I opted to DO IT ALL---or pretty close!
Got my hair all beautified by the fabulous Nadia. (Seriously, if you live in B’ham, go to Regis and get beautiful by Nadia. It is soooo worth it.) Got my taxes done. Had my good and patient boyfriend follow me to a shop or two while I quested for a blouse…played air hockey, had breakfast with friends, played with children; had dinner with friends, experienced momentary panic when discovering I had to move piano on a different time schedule than previously planned due to inadequate communication, stayed up way too late having good wine and intense conversation; got a back rub; laughed at boyfriend playing with children; went to church, moved a piano; found out about MS storms, got home, watched a movie (The Terminal), slept like the dead.
So, life is good and my taxes are DONE!!!
Also discovered that it is really hard to be motivated to go back to work after a particularly good weekend.
Also discovered that not only do I really like Italian food, rediscovered reasons I like the friends who shared the Italian food with us.
Also discovered that it is really hard to move a piano off a pick-up truck once it is on said pick-up truck.

Really.

But life is beautiful and I am about a week away from knowing where I will be living. WAhoo!

Now, if I can only get my sixth grade students to solve some math problems, I will feel like WonderWoman.

My particular brand of evil777362

2006-02-09T20:08:00.000-08:00

Knowing that my computer uploads at the speed of dark, and given that I have been preoccupied with work, my second job, hitting the local theatrical scene and, well…seeing someone…I haven’t posted much.
And for that, I apologize internet.
I’ve been busy experiencing twitter-pation, and the joy and confusion that it brings. It’s rare. And it’s wonderful.
Who knows if I will be hit by a beer truck tomorrow? Who knows if I will flake out in a sudden fit of “commito-phobia”, and go join a Mennonite colony? Or if he will suddenly decide that I’m too much hippie chic to handle? Or… maybe he will look across at me, over the carnage of chicken bones from my most recent HOOTERS visitation and think “My god, I can’t live another second without her, I must make her mine?!” Who knows? At any rate, I’ve been busy. I’m enjoying the moment. I haven’t been posting. I’m happy but *sob* …I’ve missed you guys!
Not that you are checking Inverted Crescent daily thinking “My God, why doesn’t she post more?!! Damn, I miss that saucy Cave-woman! Where else am I going to get my daily dose of were-wolf smut, movie kitsch, and eco-awareness?” (However if you are…GOD BLESS YOU!!
So, to the stuff at hand…
(Today’s installment of were-wolf smut)
I saw Underworld: Evolution. And I have to say…I’m pleased. Too often a sequel comes along and you are wondering…Why did I bother to watch this? It’s the same story we saw in the first movie. What a waste of my time! However this movie is a good solid continuation of the first story, picking up immediately where Underworld left off. Oh, and shirts are off, and there is sweating and bleeding, and hot, hot lovin’! So, therefore---two thumbs up.
Today’s installment of movie kitsch:
Mel Brook’s original movie The Producers, with my movie boyfriend Gene Wilder, and the incomparable Zero Mostel is worth a rental. Forget the movie version of the broadway ( also by Mel Brooks with Nathan Lane and Matthew Brodderick). It has its highlights. But see the original. You won’t regret it. It’s so many shades of wrong, it’s a wonder it was ever put in theatres!
Today’s installment of Eco-Awareness:
Periodically, I urge people to find out about their local environmental issues and to take action. ( In general, I think you should always keep your fingers on the pulse of your local government , and help that government make decisions concerning things you care about--- whether it’s where the new Wal-Mart is going to go, the upcoming city council elections, or the planning of the July 4th celebration.) Since the environmental work is part of my everyday life, I focus on eco issues.
Here’s a link that helps with bigger picture eco-issues. Personally, I’m all over the “Save the Endangered Species Act”, and will be adding a permanent link on my sidebars for this one. This is one of the websites that, if you visit it everyday, and click on the appropriate buttons, contributions are made to the causes you believe in. Check it out. You might find something you like.
http://www.saveourenvironment.org/
Well, cats and kittens…that’s it for the day.
Now turn off your computer and GO OUTSIDE!!!

Somewhere in Time

2006-02-02T19:44:00.000-08:00

Ah, Christopher Reeve at his hunky, hunky best.
Jane Seymour in the vigor of her youth.
The romance.
The intention.

And the kiss!

Do you remember that first kiss? The hesitation, the directness, his approach and her breathless sigh, "It's beginning."

Wow.
The watch!
The photograph!

And that damn 1979 penny!

You know, ELOVE is a fun channel when you are surfing the Dish network and nothing else is on. *sigh* Somewhere in Time. What a nice valentine it would make.

It's the girl in me, I can't help it.

It's Superman, for goodness sake. Hell, I"m sure there are a few straight men out there who would go gay for him. He's amazing. May he rest in peace.

Here a meme, there a meme...

2006-01-29T09:04:00.000-08:00

Okay, I've been tagged....so here it goes... (:

Four Jobs You’ve Had
Snowcone goddess
Kennel personnel
Babysitter/nanny
Palynological assistant

Four Movies You Could Watch Over and Over
Conan
Serenity
Clan of the Cave Bear
Love at First Bite

Four Television Shows You Love
House, M.D.
Lost
Avatar: The Last Airbender

I, too, admit to not doing much of the t.v. thing--mainly due to the presence of children in mi casa.

Four Places You Have Lived
Auburn, AL
Ivoryton, CT
Birmingham, AL
Pearl, MS

Four Places You Have Been on Vacation
New York, New York
New Camden, CT
Epcot (Disney), FL
The Loire Valley, Acquitaine, France

Four Websites You Visit Daily
Sarahetc
Pretty Helmet
Stepping Stones
Go Fug Yourself

Four Places You’d Rather Be Right Now
France. La Madeleine
Borders
Right here. Right here is good. (:
In bed.

Bloggers You are Tagging
A Mind Awake, Johnny C
Stacey
Magazine Man

Movie Meme

2006-01-27T15:20:00.000-08:00

After making my daily jaunt over to Sarah’s blog and discovering the meme of the moment, I immediately started to think of favorites movies and quotes. Truth be told, too many sprang to mind.(Mine was a mispent youth). In an effort to exhibit some restraint ( I know! Can you believe it?), I kept the list to ten, with a few bonuses.
So, chime in if you recognize any, and like Sarah says, maybe we’ll be BFF, and hold hands on the playground, and sign each other’s year books.
Good luck!!

1. “Whenever I despair, I remember that the way of truth and love has always
won. There may be tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they may seem
invincible, but in the end, they always fail. Think of it: always.”

2 In response to the question, “What is best in life?”
“To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women.”

3. Z: “You recognize that famous sign?
Old Man: Si senior. It is a Two.
Z: That is a Z!
Old Man: But in the school that is how they teach my granddaughter to draw a
two.
Z: *I* say it is a *Z* - For El Zorro!

4. “Would you like a roll in the ze hay? Roll, Roll, Roll in ze hay!”

5. “Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive? If "needy" were a turn-on?”

6. O:”: Do you know what your sin is?
M: “ Aw hell, I'm a fan of all seven... but right now, I'm gonna have to go with Wrath.”

7.“Tu eşti dragostea vieţii mele... vieţii mele” translation-- you are the love of my life... of my life.

8.“Why must you lead, when I want to lead? If I want to dance I will ask you to dance. If I want to speak I will open my mouth and speak. Everyone is forever plaguing me to speak further. Why? What good is it to tell you you are in my every thought from the time I wake? What good can come from my saying that I sometimes cannot think clearly or do my work properly? What gain can rise of my telling you the only time I feel fear as others do is when I think of you in harm? That is why I am on this porch, Ivy Walker. I fear for your safety before all others. And yes, I will dance with you on our wedding night.”

9 “Good. Bad. I’m the guy with the gun.”

10. “What do you think the Devil is going to look like if he's around? Nobody is going to be taken in if he has a long, red, pointy tail. No. I'm semi-serious here. He will look attractive and he will be nice and helpful and he will get a job where he influences a great God-fearing nation and he will never do an evil thing... he will just bit by little bit lower standards where they are important. Just coax along flash over substance... Just a tiny bit. And he will talk about all of us really being salesmen. And he'll get all the great women.”

**Bonus:1** “Severus, don’t be a fool….”
**Bonus 2** “If I were a woman…I might choose not to sacrifice my life caring for my children, nor my children's children, nor to drown anonymously in the milk of female kindness, but instead, say, to go abroad.”
**Bonus 3** “Heads. Heads. Heads.Heads.”

Why I date him

2006-01-18T18:30:00.000-08:00

"How tall are you really?" -He
"5'10" "-Me
"Wow."
"Yea, I know. I'm an amazon."
*shit-eating grin*

"What?"
"I got my woman at amazon.com."
"You are a funny guy."

Jan 9th update

2006-01-09T15:48:00.000-08:00

Okay, so far the resolution is going well.

Went to the 930 Blues Cafe as my "new" place for the week, and I must say, I had a fine time until the smoke overwhelmed me.
I made friends with a few of the musicians, and had some truly spectacular ribs. (Really...if you need Delta Blues and Ribs, 930 is the place to go.)

I am continuing to date the very nice man I told you about earlier, and I admit, I like him more and more. He is on the amazing side of things---but I'm still evaluating what we really have to offer each other---so we're keeping it kinda light for now.

In two weeks, the quest for a good church continues.
And for now, financial considerations will keep the gym membership at bay until next month.

So, so far---on track.

Oh, and go see Rumor has it and The Ringer.

Funny!!!

Happy New Year

2005-12-31T06:36:00.000-08:00

I'm going to Hattiesburg for a New Year's Celebration amongst friends. It should be a fine time. I will even bring my bicycle in the hopes of getting a few good loops in before the rain arrives, and I must get changed for the evenings festivities which, as far as I can tell, will involve John Wayne in "The Quiet Man", and liquor.

I'm looking forward to it.

Now, whether or not there will be black-eyed peas and turnip greens I cannot say.
But I'll let you know. (:

Have a Happy one!

Comparisons are Odorous

2005-12-27T16:16:00.000-08:00

Bwahahahha!!!

I can just barely hear James Thurber rolling over in his grave.

Achtung!

2005-12-27T15:31:00.000-08:00

Okay, I admit it.
I get a little flustered with today's politically correct fairy tales.

In an effort to get back to basics, and make childhood as gruesome as the Brothers Grimm really intended....I chanced across the following website.

http://faculty.acu.edu/~goebeld/maerchen/maermenu.htm

Nothing like seeing a story in the original German to give you perspective.

Methinks I just made a resolution

2005-12-22T16:34:00.000-08:00

I’m not an island.
But a human woman hungering for more.

More life. More joy. More connection.

What has this blog been but my message in a bottle, giving me, perhaps falsely, a sense of connectedness, rescuing me from my unintentional islandhood?

Well, it’s time to step things up. A blog is nice, but it does not make for a full and rich life alone. It is time to add to my life-cultivating repertoire by reaching out in a new way. A dynamic way.

You’ve heard of functional alcoholics? Well, I’ve been a functional isolate.
I have, for the past 7 years, lived alone.

In that time I have lost a father; two jobs (once the company collapsed, the other I was “laid off” due to financial considerations), adopted the blue-grey stealth kittens, been in and out of a significant relationship, and had the better part of a cervix removed due to a “cancer scare”. In all of that I found a church, my life’s vocation, learned to celebrate the wisdom of womankind, and to truly appreciate science fiction. Ups and downs to be sure, but more ups in the mix, so it feels balanced.

For the first time in years I am surrounded by other humans. I am residing with extended family and making adjustments to living within their schedules, as they are also making adjustments to live within mine. It is a kind and equitable arrangement.
I have an opportunity to see what it is like to be a part of a family; to enjoy that, to participate when I can, and retreat when I should. It is a beautiful thing.
But it also makes me clear on how easy it is to be lonely.

When you start to compare your life to those around you, the differences stand out.
Here I am, with the family---they have each other to hold onto. I love them and they make a concerted effort to include me in many things. But there are things which are of the family, and belong to the family. And there are things that aren’t. And I am a part of the things that aren’t.

It’s okay. I get that. But it makes me aware ----of the wanting. Of the wanting more.
So to that end, I’m coming up with a game plan to maximize my chances of meeting,(in the words of my sister) “a man worthy of me”, of expanding my friend base, and encouraging my hobbies.

What the plan looks like:
Trying to go to one new place or activity a week. (I don’t care what it is, as long as there are no smoke-filled rooms involved). Seriously. Wine-tastings? Yep. I’ll try it. Tractor pulls. Lord be with me---yes. I’m a new woman in a new town. I need new local friends to add to my old diversely scattered friends. And who knows? Maybe I’ll learn something new while I’m at it.

Try to talk to at least two new (available) men a week. This may be harder than it sounds because I can become intensely quiet around men. Unless I’m talking about my work, that is. I’m not certain about why this is, but it is true.

Keep a dating journal. When I do go on dates, keep a record of what I like about this person---about what I am concerned about---about what I am thinking and feeling and what that means. I know it sounds ridiculous---but I have a tendency to idealize someone before I really know them. I hope this will help me be grounded and learn to see the person before me, instead of just seeing what I want to see.

Find a good church. Since I’ve moved to MS, it has been hard finding a church that was really living the path of God, instead of a legalistic, passionless faith. I want a good church to help my spiritual growth. My heart has strayed too much of late, and I need a little help getting home.

Get my dating team together. By this, I mean my friends who will be able to tell me when the guy I’m dating is a good one---or if I’m simply hearing the siren’s call of attraction and putting up with behavior that is, basically, unacceptable.

Find a cool club---and play there! Really, I’ve been unable to get hooked up with Volleyball here, which sucks, because I really love to chase that little white ball. But Canoeing would be AWESOME. I would like to be a part of a group where I could make new friendships and get some exercise in. I’m more prone to exercise if I’m surrounded by a support group. I’m co-dependent that way. But self-aware, so maybe that’s a strength if I work it right.

Sew---I freakin’ love sewing. And it would be a lot of fun to be a part of a local theatrical group-- making costumes for them. I’m a good seamstress, and I have fun fanci-fying the peoples. Should be a good way to get to know the artsy types too.

Biking.---Here biking is big. But that’s road biking, and I’m not very good at that. I don’t think I could hang with the pod. Most of them go 13-15mph, and I’m just not there, yet. Now if I could find a group a lazy bones who just like to get out and about, that would be great.

Holy cats, I think I may have just made a resolution. Well, we’ll see how this goes. Wish me luck!!

Joy to the Chef

2005-12-22T05:08:00.000-08:00

During Christmas, I succumb to my inner Rachel Ray, and break out my store of exceptionally yummy recipes which are, otherwise, hidden from the light of day, enjoying their hermetically sealed life in an archaic edition of the Joy of Cooking.

This book, long ago stolen for me by a friend, from a hometown library, has been the treasured repository of family recipes written on scraps of paper, the backs of envelopes, and the occasional true recipe card. Though there is no substitute for your own personal HVAC system to protect the treasured recipes from yellowing with age, a Joy of Cooking will suffice.

This Christmas, for the first time in years, my Joy is in storage, and as it is too mammoth a task to locate one book in a roomful of boxes, there is no Christmas baking in my immediate future. (Also, did I mention that our oven burned up in the great “roast pork debacle of 2005”?) Yea, so no Christmas baking this year.

Alternatively, I’ve gotten up close and personal with my stove top, and have determined that Hot chocolate really is one of the gifts the wise men would have gotten to Mary and Joseph, if they had known about it.

Therefore, here’s a little recipe for the non-bakers…

Real Hot Chocolate
(inspired by Chocolat and a recipe I read once upon a time)

2 cups of boiling water
1 chile pepper, with seeds removed
2 cups of light cream
3 cups of whole milk
1 vanilla bean
1 cinnamon stick
8 ounces bittersweet chocolate
2 squares DARK choclolate
Whipped cream (small container)

Boil water with chile pepper in it until it is reduced to 1 cup. Strain the chile out of the water and set aside.

Combine cream, vanilla bean and cinnamon in a saucepan over medium heat. Look for bubbles around the edge of the saucepan as an indication as when to reduce the heat to low. Add chocolate and sugar. Stir continuously until the chocolate is melted.
Turn off heat and remove cinnamon and vanilla. Add the chile water, a little at a time, to make sure it doesn’t set your tongue on fire.
Whip the cream in a COLD bowl. Serve on top of the chocolate.

In Honor of Dick Clark

2005-12-19T18:29:00.000-08:00

Approaching the New Year, I’m in a comparing mood.
So, let’s take a peek at 2004 and 2005

2004—State I lived in: Ala-freakin’-bama
2005—State I’ve moved to: Mississippi

2004—Number of jobs: 3 (One official, two part time)
2005—Number of jobs: 1 (One official)

2004—Number of times I’ve held an alligator:0
2005---Number of times I’ve held an alligator: 1

2004—Number of times I’ve worked with endangered species: 0
2005—Number of times I’ve worked with endangered species: 50

2004—Number of times on a “real” date: 2
2005—Number of times on a “real” date” 10

2004—Number of experiments in accidental beer making: 0
2005---Ditto: 1 (See “What I Learned on Saturday” post)

2004—Number of churches I went to: 1
2005—Number of churches I went to: 8, and still church shopping! (It’s hard to find a spiritual home after you move.)

2004-- Number of luster-glosses by Bobbi Brown: 0
2005-- Number of luster-glosses by Bobbi Brown: 1 (Thanks Sarah!)

2004--What I meant when I said “my sister”: M
2005--What I meant when I said “my sister”: K---Both are my sisters. I’m just living closer to one than the other now.

AND THE NUMBER ONE COMPARISON ON EVERYONE’s MIND (especially if they read this blog regularly…)

2004: Number of Naked Masturbating Men Standing Outside my Window: 0
2005: Number of Naked Masturbating Men Standing Outside my Window: 0

YEA! (Let’s keep 2003 a distant memory for Naked Masturbating Men.)

What I Learned on Saturday

2005-12-19T18:24:00.000-08:00

I received a phone call from the landlord of my storage unit on Saturday who informed me that “something was leaking from my unit into the next” and that I needed to come and investigate the situation.
Right.
Got it.

So, after inventorying the place, I learned a few things:

1. Freezers, even after they are defrosted, retain a little moisture.
2. Pasta is made of wheat.
3. Some varieties of wheat are the basis for beer.
4. Sugar is a mighty fine fermentation fuel.
5. Left to their own devices, moisture, sugar and pasta make a weirdly bastardized beer.
6. Left to dehydrate for a prolonged period. Oh, let’s say... a few MONTHS… such a beer can turn into a taffy-like shellac.
7. It takes a really long time to clean taffy-like shellac.
8. Said shellac also acts as a fine adhesive.
9. Shoes stick to adhesive.
10. So do shovels.
11. And dustpans.
12. And putty knives.
13. Remembering your chemistry classes when confronted with said shellac really
does help. (Water dissolves sugar.)
14. The only way to effectively rid a previously “thought-to-be” dry freezer of the
bastardized sweet smelling beer is to take it to a car wash.
15. Surprisingly, it didn’t smell as badly as you thought it might.
16. Freezers really are as heavy as you think they are.
17. It is super-important when carrying around a fermentation-filled freezer on its
way to the car wash to have the truck filled with gas.
18. Don’t drive quickly when you have a freezer in the back of your open-bed
pick-up truck.
19. Husbands of soul-sisters are awfully nice.
20. Single Malt Scotch may be a good Christmas thank-you for a super-nice brother-in law.

Moral of the Story: ALWAYS towel dry your freezers after a good de-frosting, and never store anything in them, even if it is a supposed “dry good” OH, and know where your local package store is, too. AMEN.

Good Stories

2005-12-19T18:22:00.000-08:00

If you were to imagine the stories that children tell, you may think they all begin with “Once Upon a Time…”

Not so with a my neice.

Beginnings of her stories go something like this:
“Legend has it…”
“They say that (insert legend like material here)”

Oh, and did I mention...she's FIVE.

Isn’t she great?

Ms. Lillian's Beauty Shop

2005-12-19T18:20:00.000-08:00

Every evening when I get home, my little niece Lillian is waiting for me. Not like a lioness, lying in wait, hoping for sustenance---more like a ferret that is looking for something to carry away to their lair for storage so they can play with it later. Sigh*

This often leads to auntly hijinks which involve, at the least, a trip to Ms. Lillian’s Beauty Shop.

I’m not certain exactly how it got started…I just know that Ms. Lillian does my hair and, for whatever reason, I am very tardy to my hair appointments, no matter how hard I try to be punctual.

It seems that whenever I arrive, she is just about “ready to close”, and she can really only help me if I’m having a hair emergency.

Remarkably, I always am.
You see, my blind mother does my hair.
Well, my blind mother does my hair most of the time, and that is why Ms. Lillian must “fix” it.

If my blind mother isn’t doing my hair, then invariably screech owls grab my hair when I am walking the trails and tangle it up. Or---worst of all---there was a family of rat’s making a nest in my hair when I slept---one night in November.
You can see where I have a problem.

Thank goodness for Ms. Lillians’ Emergency Hair Repair!
Sometimes vacuum cleaner parts are used. Other times, her entire treasury of little girl hair bows and rubber bands come out. What else can save the hair of a woman whose blind mother styles it?
And once, she even used…(gasp!) a comb.

Anyway, it’s a fun game. I like the pampering. It gives me a modicum of privacy (it is possible to read or watch a movie when Ms. Lillian is doing your hair). And if that fails I can always lock myself in the bathroom for a hot soak and some quiet time. At least, until the screech owls come again---or Mom is feeling creative.(:

A Little Christmas Were-wolf Story

2005-12-19T18:19:00.000-08:00

Anne Rice has a sister. And guess what her obsession is?
Were-wolves! So, naturally, I LOVE HER.

If you like were-wolves, ask Santa to get you this: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0345423615/ref=cm_lm_fullview_prod_7/103-5859203-4675062?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance&n=283155

And you will feel very merry, indeed.

Mary,

2005-12-19T18:17:00.000-08:00

Did you know that your baby boy
has come to make you new;
the child that you delivered
will soon deliver you?
Mark Lowry, “Mary, Did You Know?”

In the course of my life, I’ve heard the song that yields those lyrics three times.

The first when Nola’s sang in church. Her rich, bluesy voice making this song a permanent part of my Christmas memories.
Next I heard it on the radio, voiced by Clay Aiken. (I can’t help it! The kid has talent!)
And, after a google search for lyrics, I found this older version, with Kenny Rogers and Wynona.
Nice song.
When my soul-sister had her baby, she said this song resonated strongly with her.
Hope you love it as much as I do.
.http://www.bonniesplace1.com/Marydid.html

Fa-ra-ra-ra, ra-ra-ra-ra

2005-12-19T18:12:00.001-08:00

Pull up a chair, throw a log on the fire…and read or watch any of these with your family and friends this holiday season. It’ll definitely help you get the Christmas cheer on!

A Child’s Christmas in Wales by Dylan Thomas
http://www.bfsmedia.com/MAS/Dylan/Christmas.html
Warms the heart. Grab your hot cider and listen to this one with the kids.

A Christmas Memory by Truman Capote
http://www.geocities.com/cyber_explorer99/capotechristmas.html
More from the heart warming department. Very southern. Very much like home.

Lessons and Carols, King’s College
http://www.kings.cam.ac.uk/chapel/ninelessons/
How many times did I not make it to midnight mass, and opt to watch this on PBS instead? Beautiful service.

A Christmas Story
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085334/
I laugh every time I watch it. I triple-dog dare you to see it. And if you have TBS, you probably will see it. Over. And over. And over.

It’s a Wonderful Life
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0038650/
Need I say it? I gotta watch it so I can hear Zuzu say “Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.”
Also, on a different note, this movie gave me inspiration for a band name: “Zuzu’s Petals”. Wouldn’t you want to listen to “Zuzu’s Petals”? Definitely a punk rock band name if ever there was one.

Nestor, the Long-eared Christmas Donkey
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/6301760360/103-5859203-4675062?v=glance
Yea, I’m a sap. This one makes me cry and I never see it on TV. anymore. Probably made too many kids cry. But I freakin’ love it.

A Charlie Brown Christmas
http://wilstar.com/xmas/cbxmas.htm
Great music. Great story. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, this is the Charlie Browniest.

Scrooged
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096061/
Asthmatics beware! This movie makes you laugh so hard you’ll be grabbing your inhaler. Of course, I love the Walter Scott as Scrooge in “A Christmas Carol”. However, I have seen so many incarnations of Dicken’s original that I am in a mood to like the parody more than the classic. Go fig.

Twilight Zone: Night of the Meek
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/6302541719/103-5859203-4675062?v=glance
Once upon a time, Rod Serling told a beautiful Christmas story. And when I watch it, I cry and smile. I really, really, must get my own copy of this Christmas classic.

And now for something completely different:

Edward Gorey’s Christmas Cats
http://www.goreydetails.net/show.php?alpha=3187
Enjoy your Gorey Christmas and be happy about it, dammit!

Reminded

2005-12-19T18:09:00.000-08:00

I could wax prosaic about the entire goings on this Christmas: shopping, singing, churchy-stuff and parties. I could even tell you about all the ways I suck at preparing for the arrival of that baby: Of how I’ve achieved membership in the Simon Peter club (denied him thrice ----without trying!); of so many little things as to sound self-involved and pedantic.
Instead, like Linus or the Grinch, I’m simply going to conclude that Christmas doesn’t come from a store-- and leave you with a quote from Luke 2: 1-11 RSV

"In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be enrolled. This was the first enrollment, when Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all went to be enrolled, each to his own city."
"And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there, the time came for her to be delivered. And she gave birth to her first-born son and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn."
"And in that region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of The Lord appeared to them, and the glory of The Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. And the angel said to them, "Be not afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy which will come to all the people; for to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, Who is Christ the Lord." AMEN.

If it bit me...

2005-12-09T16:05:00.000-08:00

It is quite possible that I wouldn't know what was good for me, if it were sitting right next to me and then bit me.

Really.

So, I am dating a GREAT guy. He's kind, considerate, fun and respectful of boundaries. All good things.

So, why am I not feeling like diving into Relationshipsville? I don't know. Maybe I've had unhealthy dating patterns for so long, that when something healthy comes along I can't give into it---you know---from lack of practice.

Or maybe the chemistry isn't there. Or if it is, it is different than what I thought I would end up falling for?

Hmmmm.....I don't know.

At any rate, he is pretty great. And I don't want to overlook the great---especially if what I am "getting over" is really just an unhealthy pattern from the past. I will keep it casual and fun. I really want to know him. And there is no shortcut for that. Take it slow. Date him. Date others. Keep things honest, make friends in my new town, and be open to what tomorrow holds.

Blessings for all, I hope, are around the corner.

Five-hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes

2005-11-28T15:14:00.000-08:00

I am full of ponderables lately.

So many lifetimes that I could live.

In one lifetime I work in a bookstore, complete with rare and out-of-print editions of longed for texts, some archaic and gorgeous coffee machine which reminds me of the days when scientists had to create their own equipment before research could begin, and a black cat or two for good measure.

In another life, I am inordinately fond of flowers, and work in a nursery.

In another, I am traveling the world, exploring neolithic cave art.

In another, I bike everywhere, and live to meet the locals.

In some lives I am gardening, or camping, or making great art---w0rking for national geographic.

These are the lives of the self.

The selfless lives involve me being someone's wife, and someone's mother. In loving the stillness and the chaos. In doing something bigger and stranger by the depth of my involvement in the community.

So much to do in so beautiful a world and there just never seems to be enough time to do it all in.

But I'm starting to branch out---starting to learn and grow.

Tomorrow I have a date, which should prove fun. I'm looking forward to going to see Oklahoma and to learn a bit about what this gentlemen is about.

I want to learn more about grafitti throughout history, as well. So, I'm researching. And I'm also learning to take better photos. Maybe there is a coffee table book in my future on the history of paleo-graffiti?

Looking to a few different things now.

Might as well.
Life is short, and I want to make this one count.

TMI

2005-11-22T15:56:00.000-08:00

November is here, and my sinuses are blocked. My little neti pot gives wonderful temporary relief---but it is just that---temporary. And so, I stand over the sink at 3 in the morning, cleaning out ye old sinuses in a bathroom so thoroughly in the throws of re-modeling, that I feel like I am in a crack-whore’s digs getting that “one last fix.”

. That’s all I need. Just give me the salt and the steam, man. YOU KNOW HOW I JONES FOR OXYGEN. *sigh*

On the upside, there was thanksgiving dinner for all the nice people at work, and it was truly wonderful. I managed , in my sickly state, to eat a full plate of the potluck goodies AND to accidentally insult a colleague . Never let it be said that I’m an underachiever.

When I go home, I expect the house to be thirteen shades of disorganized, due to the recent renovations. But I know it is a good thing, and truly something to be thankful for when it is done. So, something like dinner later, a headstand or so to knock loose the sinus, and one final moment with the neti pot and I’m going to try to sleep my way to health. At least, that is the goal.

cryptic butterfly

2005-11-21T16:59:00.000-08:00

Just one thing at a time.
That's what I need...one thing in a moment to focus on...one place to be. Write for the magazine. Complete it. Then go to the next place.
Sit.
Think of the million things you can be doing. Write them down. Prioritize.
Get information, formulate a plan, and go.

I feel like I'm laying a foundation for what is to come. I'm not certain what that is, but I know I need to prepare.

Repair the Schimano, cook the soup, read. Pray. Sleep. Eat.

WELCOME

2005-11-20T06:18:00.000-08:00

The Inverted Crescent is part of all the changes I'm experiencing now. You will find a lot of the stuff you found on NOTES, plus a few changes here. Heck, NOTES may even resurface with an entirely new format by Spring. At any rate, I'm glad you made it, and I hope to hear from you soon.